Thoughts
by Demonic Irken
Summary: Dib becomes depressed after an incident at Skool one day, and decides to do something to end his pain. But he doesn't know that a certain green Irken would attempt to help him through this. ZADF. (CANCELLED DUE TO DISINTEREST)
1. Chapter 1

Dib came home one day after a having a _very_ bad day at school. This particular day had been worse than most. Normally, his classmates would call him weird, crazy, or make fun of his huge head and stuff like that.

But this time around, one of his tormentors, Torque Smackey, had been angrier than usual, but Dib couldn't figure out why, no matter how hard he thought about it. None of his other classmates did anything to help him. Why would they? They probably hated him just as much as Torque did.

Then Dib's thoughts turned to Zim. He had been there, too, amongst the crowd, watching his rival get beaten up and spit upon. For some strange reason, Dib had thought that Zim would help him. It was stupid of him to think that, of course, since Zim hated Dib more than anyone else in his school.

 _Flashback: Dib was working on an invention to try and stop Zim from taking over the world. He hoped it worked this time. Last time it had almost exploded. He had fiddled with it for a while and managed to fix it at the last second, but still had to test it again to make sure everything was working properly._

 _As he began to test it, Torque and a few other kids walked up to him. Just by looking at them Dib knew they had malicious intentions. Dib tried to ignore them, hoping they'd go away. "Hey, freak. Whatcha working on?" Torque asked rather loudly. Dib stayed quiet. "Hey! I'm talking to you!" Torque smacked the device out of Dib's hands, breaking it when it hit the ground._

 _Dib looked up at him. "I don't want any trouble, Torque." He muttered. The kids surrounding him laughed, as did Torque. "Well, trouble seems to have found you." He grabbed Dib and slammed him against the wall, making him see stars for a second. "Next time, answer me when I speak to you. Got that, freak?"_

 _Dib nodded slowly. Torque smiled. "Good. I think we're done here. Don't forget what I said." As a final insult to his prey, Torque spit on him. The kids laughed again, then departed. Dib wiped the slivia from his face, balling his hands into fists as he mumbled, "You don't scare me."_

 _Hearing the response, Torque stopped walking and turned around. Trotting back over to Dib, he snarled, "You wanna say that again?" Dib remained silent again, not wanting to provoke him any further. Torque eventually walked off, leaving Dib alone for the moment._

 _Dib tried not to cry, not here, in front of everyone. He had to be tough, had to be strong. The truth was, he_ was _scared of Torque and his friends. He wished his tormentors would just die. He hated them so much! Then, to make matters even worse, Zim decided to show up. Laughing, Zim said, "Well, Stink-Meat, it looks like you finally got what you deserved for crossing the Almighty ZIIIM!"_

 _Pocking up the shattered remains of his invention, Dib looked up at him from the ground. "This has nothing to do with you, Zim. Just go away. I'm not in the mood to deal with you right now." Zim walked off after spouting a few more insults in Dib's direction. After the bus arrived, Dib sat away from the others, by himself, as he always did after school._ –End of flashback.

Dib went to his room and shut the door. He let himself cry freely, overwhelmed by the days events. He eventually fell asleep, knowing that tomorrow would go the same way as today. But he didn't know that a certain someone was going to help him get through tomorrow.

 **A/N: This story is based upon my own experiences of being bullied in school, before I graduated. Also, sorry if I didn't do the flashback sequence right. This is my first attempt at a story with flashbacks. Anyway, what did you think? I'd love to hear your thoughts on this story!**


	2. Chapter 2

Dib entered his house and set his bag on the floor. "Don't forget to close the front door, son." Said his father, without looking up from whatever he was working on. "Ok, Dad." Dib replied softly, doing what he was told. Prof. Membrane finished his work for now and decided to spend some much-needed quality bonding time with his children.

Dib started to retreat to his room, but his dad stopped him. "Hold on a second, son. What's wrong?" He asked, noticing Dib's sullen and pained expression. Dib started to reply, but Gaz answered for him. "Dib got beat up by one of his stupid classmates or something." She said, her eyes glued to her GameSlave, as usual.

Membrane turned back to Dib. "Is that true, son?" He asked, a hint of worry in his voice. Dib sighed. "I guess so, Dad. Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to be alone right now, please."

Membrane nodded and moved aside to allow his son to calm down in his room for awhile before dinner.

He turned to Gaz after Dib had left the room. "Do you know who did that to him, daughter?" Gaz paused her game for a second to address her father. "Why do you care? You're usually too obsessed with your work to know what's going on in this family." Membrane sighed, knowing his daughter was right, and turned back to his work.

Meanwhile, Dib was sitting on his bed, listening to music and contemplating wether or not he should end his life. Everyday he went to school his problems just seemed to get worse, and he hated it. He wished he didn't have a bitch of a sister. He wished his father paid more attention to him.

But most of all, he wished he had never met Zim. The alien had been making his life a living hell since day 1 of his arrival on Earth. He laid back and closed his eyes. He felt as if his life had no purpose other than to be a punching bag for others.

Gaz knocked in his door. "Come eat, Dib! Your disgusting food is ready." Dib sighed and went to eat his dinner. Today, it was pizza. Normally, he would get excited about eating pizza, but not today. He picked at his food miserably.

Membrane noticed that Dib wasn't eating. The scientist set down his silverware, wiping his mouth with his napkin before saying, "I had a talk with this Torque person's father a few minutes ago. We had a very interesting conversation, and I had a few choice words to throw at him for raising such an awful child. Needless to say, he won't be bothering you again, hopefully."

Dib looked up at his father, smiling gratefully. "Thanks, Dad. I really appreciate you taking time out of your schedule and helping me out." Membrane chuckled. "You're very welcome, Son. If this kid bothers you again, you come tell me, alright? I would do anything to protect you and Gaz, always remember that."

Dib smiled again. "I will, Dad." He picked up his pizza and began to eat, his worries forgotten for the moment. He was glad he had his dad to protect him when he really needed it. Gaz rolled her eyes and got up from the table, retreating to her room and shutting the door.

Dib finished his meal a few minutes later and went back to his room as well. His talk with his dad helped ease his fears a lot, but not quite. He was still afraid that Torque or someone else would become more aggressive tomorrow. Dib decided that if that did happen, he would consider committing suicide.

If it got any worse after that, then he would definitely be killing himself as soon as the opportunity presented itself. After about an hour, he willed himself to fall into an uneasy sleep. Dib hoped with all of his heart that tomorrow would be a better day.

Suddenly, Gaz was pounding on his door, demanding that he get up and prepare for school. Dib groaned and lay there for a bit, trying to gather up the courage to start the day. He didn't want to. He just wanted to sleep for the rest of the school year. At least then he wouldn't have to deal with his tormentors at school. He rose and went to the kitchen to make a quick breakfast. He decided on cereal.

After that, he gathered up his things and took the bus to school, trying to get some more rest before they arrived. Thankfully, no one bothered him on the ride to school. When they arrived, kids began to get out, Dib got up and started walking out, but was shoved aside, and Torque brushed past him while saying, "Outta my way, freak."

Dib glared in his direction hatefully, walking into the building. While he was at his locker putting his books away, Zim walked up to him, smirking. "I saw what happened on the bus, Dib-beast. You humans and your FILTHY rivalries."

Dib slammed his locker door shut. He turned to face the alien. "We are rivals, Zim. You and me." Zim scowled at him. "LIES!"

Dib rolled his eyes and walked to his next class, Science. He found he couldn't concentrate on the teacher's lecture about rocks. Rocks were boring. "Blah blah blah." Droned the teacher in the background.

Dib became distracted by his thoughts, thinking about what his dad had said yesterday at dinner. Dib decided to take his fathers advice. He hoped it worked.


	3. Chapter 3

After school was over, Dib decided to walk to school to spare himself of the ridicule from his other classmates, not to mention Torque and his lackeys. His house wasn't too far away from his school, anyway. He made a mental note to ask his dad if he could walk to and from school from now on, though Dib knew that his father wouldn't like it if he did.

The whole point of his riding the bus was so that he could, in his dads words, 'make friends' and to spend his free time 'focusing on something other than his insane obsession with aliens and other nonsense.' Unfortunately, Zim had decided to walk with him, and was currently making fun of his 'giant head,' which Dib was used to by now.

Zim noticed that he wasn't paying attention to him, and that angered the alien. "Hey, Dib-Stink! Why are you not giving Zim your undivided attention? Did I finally break you? Are you giving up trying to save these pathetic humans from me?" Dib turned to face his enemy. "You know what, Zim? I'm done fighting you. You can have the Earth. I don't see what's so great about it, anyway."

He walked up to his house and entered, leaving Zim standing outside, his eyes big and his mouth open in shock. _The Dib is...giving Earth to me? Willingly? Something is not right about this. He must be planning something. I have to know what._

He hurried back to his base and told GIR to guard the house, then went down into his secret lab to prepare for whatever it was that Dib was cooking up.

Meanwhile, Dib was trying to figure out how to avoid going to school tomorrow. His father had, as Dib knew he would, denied his request to walk to school. That obviously meant that he had to continue riding the bus every day, which he absolutely did not want to do. He couldn't take another day of misery and suffering.

He went to his room and opened the bottom drawer of his dresser, taking out a small box. Inside of that box was a collectors knife he had gotten from his father as a gift on his ninth birthday. He took it out and flipped it open. He was ready.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Zim had told his computer to bring up the camera feed in Dib's room and the rest of his house. The alien had secretly placed cameras in the house when his enemies were away eating pizza at Bloaty's. He did this so that he could spy on them, as well as possibly learn of any new plans that Dib had.

He doubted the filthy, big-headed dirt creature could ever think of a plan clever enough to stop him for good, but in case such a thing did happen, Zim had prepared several back-up plans to ensure his success. The Invader laughed quietly to himself. He would not disappoint his Tallest. He would not fail his mission. He was ZIM! He was determined to see this through to the end, his way.

He turned back to the computer, but his smile faded when he saw what Dib was doing. Zim was confused. I don't understand. Shouldn't he be creating something to stop me? What is this? What is in his hands? Ordering his computer to enhance the image, he now saw the object the Dib held. His eyes widened as he brought the knife up to his arm and cut himself to test it.

Blood ran down Dib's arm and dripped onto the floor, staining the carpet. Zim grew increasingly worried when Dib started laughing, then began whispering to himself, his voice easily picked up by the speaker in the camera, "You don't know, you don't know! None of you can feel it. The pain, the sorrow, the suffering! You all refuse to believe that aliens walk the Earth. You're all so blind that you refuse to see what is directly in front of you! You call me crazy, but I'm the sanest person in this house. But I guess none of that matters anymore, right?" He shook his head, "No, it doesn't."

Having seen enough to know what Dib was planning to do, Zim bolted out of his base and scurried on PAK legs to his former enemy's house. He was the only one who got to destroy Dib! No one, not even Dib himself, could rob him of that!

Zim hoped he got there in time. He hoped he wasn't too late.


	4. Chapter 4

Dib sighed, gathering the courage to slit his wrists. He told himself that it would only hurt for a moment, that this would surely be almost painless. Finally, after a few minutes, he was convinced. He thought about Zim, wondered if the alien would even miss him. Dib doubted it. No one liked him. Not even his own family.

He set the edge of the blade against his wrist, his arm still stinging and bleeding from his self-inflicted cut. He wasn't even sad. He was disappointed that nothing in his life seemed to work out for him or go his way, but not sad. The past few days, he had been convinced that his family hated him, that they had been secretly praying for this to happen, Gaz especially. And he knew that Zim obviously wanted him dead.

He grew angry at the thought of them celebrating his death. It finally made perfect sense why his dad had said that he was 'too busy' to spend time with him. Dib now knew that his dad _did_ occasionally have time to spare, but he just didn't want to spend his free time with his 'poor, insane son.'

He obviously didn't have a place in this world, so he might as well end it all. "Okay," he said to himself, "Let's do this." As he began sliding the knife across his wrist, something banged against his window, startling him. _What the hell?_ Dib got up from his bed and went towards his window cautiously.

Zim was standing outside, staring up at him with a handful of small rocks in his hands. When he was certain that Dib saw him, he walked up to the house and used his PAK legs to lift himself up to Dib's window and climb in.

Zim was breathing heavily, meaning that he had been in a hurry to get here. "Zim? Did you run all the way over here?" Zim ignored the question, "Don't do it, Dib! I'm the one who is supposed to destroy you, you know that! There is no me, without you!"

Dib was confused, "How did you know what I was doing? Actually, never mind, I don't want to know. And what are you talking about, Zim? You want me dead more than anyone else. Why _shouldn't_ I do this?" Zim was silent for a minute, trying to come up with a reason. "Because…Because taking over this filthy planet won't be as much fun without you around. Yes, that's it."

Dib rolled his eyes, knowing that wasn't the real reason, and scoffed, "Yeah, right! You would love it if I died. You've told me nonstop this past year how much you would love it if I just offed myself to make your job easier." Zim waved his hand dismissively. "Oh right, that. Well, just pretend I never said those things. There's always a reason to keep living."

Dib shook his head, "No, there isn't. Not this time." As he resumed cutting into his wrist, Zim tackled him, holding him down with his PAK legs. Taking the knife from Dib with surprising speed, he threw it across the room, away from Dib.

Dib looked in the direction Zim had thrown the knife, then shrugged, "Whatever. I'll just drink some poison, then. It doesn't matter to me. You haven't changed anything. My life is still shit. Torque and everyone else at Skool are still gonna be there tomorrow, and they're gonna keep making me miserable.

Like I said Zim, there is NO reason for me to keep living. So let me make this perfectly clear to you: As soon as you leave, I'm gonna kill myself. And then everyone will be happy that I'm gone, even you, I'm sure."

Zim sighed irritability. "Then I will stay here with you until tomorrow, if you wish, Dib. I will also deal with Torque and his _disgusting_ friends. But first, you have to promise me that you will not try this again." Dib thought about this, and nodded, "Okay, I promise." Zim released him, satisfied with the answer. But what Zim didn't know was that Dib had his fingers crossed behind his back, still intending to go through with his plan.

 **A/N: It's getting intense now, huh? As per usual, I tried to keep them in-character, but I think Dib and Zim are a little OOC in this chapter. Sorry. This story may have about two or three more chapters before it's finished. Let me know what you think of the story so far.**


	5. Chapter 5

Dib went into his dad's lab to ask his father if it was okay if a 'friend' could stay the night. Prof. Membrane thought it was a wonderful idea, saying he was glad that Dib was finally making an effort to enjoy life, and one day maybe he'll study 'real science.'

Dib rolled his eyes and walked back to his room, telling Zim it was okay if he stayed until morning. The alien smiled, his eyes glinting mischievously. "Excellent," Heading out into the hall, he said over his shoulder, "I have to go back to my base to check on GIR. He likes to get into the lower levels and destroy stuff if I'm gone for too long. Will you be okay until I return, Dib-beast?"

Dib averted his gaze and shuffled his feet, "Yes, I'll be fine, Zim," he drawled, hoping the Invader couldn't see that he was lying. Zim nodded and continued outside. As soon as he was out the door, the paranormal investigator went into the laundry room, where there was a container of bleach he had seen earlier. He grabbed it and took off the lid. The smell burned his nostrils, making him hesitate for a minute before taking a swig.

As soon as the poison was past his lips, the chlorine in the cleaning product caused his mouth to burn. He forced himself to attempt to swallow. The burning increased, becoming far more painful and forcing him to spit it out. He swore loudly and started coughing; some of the chemicals had gone down his throat. His tongue was on fire and felt numb at the same time.

"Son, are you alright?" Yelled his dad from his lab, hearing his son's swearing. Dib thought quickly, "Um, yeah dad, I'm OK!" He yelled back, his voice slightly hoarse. Dib froze as he heard Zim opening the front door, and wondering how he got back so quickly, swore again and wiped his mouth, angrily returning to his room, the alien joining him a few seconds later.

Zim noticed something was wrong and narrowed his eyes, "You're out of breath, you are shaking, and you look nervous," he observed, "What were you doing while I was gone?" Dib scoffed, "I wasn't doing anything, Zim! Just don't worry about it, alright? It's none of your business, anyway." Zim looked him over for any visible injuries. Though he found none, he was still unconvinced.

He shook his head, his voice carrying a slightly threatening and very serious tone, "I don't believe you, Dib-worm, so I'll ask you once more: What. Were. You. Doing?"

"I just told you, Zim, I wasn't doing anything!"

"LIES!"

"It's the truth, Zim!"

Zim growled, "I grow tired of this bickering! Do I have to take you back to my base and force you to spend the duration of our time together there? I assure you that it will most likely not be very pleasant for you. I would be forced to perform tests on you to try and figure out why you still feel this way."

Dib shook his head, "No, I don't want want that."

"Then tell me what it was you were doing!"

Dib sighed and looked down at the floor, wringing his hands, feeling slightly scared, "I was um… doing stuff. Secret stuff."

Zim glared at him, "I require more information, Dib-human. I cannot assist you if you do not tell me what is troubling you."

Dib remained silent, not knowing if he should come clean or keep lying. Zim decided for him, activating his PAK legs again and grabbing Dib by his shirt collar, slamming him against the wall with surprising strength and bringing him up to eye level, "My patience is weaning, Dib. I know something happened when I left. Tell me what you did, or I'll melt your brains until they leak out of your ears."

Dib knew that Zim was bluffing, but caved anyway and told him, "I tried to kill myself again, OK?! That's what happened while you were out! You happy now?" As soon as the words fell from his mouth, Dib knew he had angered the Irken even more.

Zim reached out with his free arm and gripped his former adversary by his throat, snarling, "Why would you do that? Do you not understand that I am trying to help you? You stupid human!" Dib was having trouble breathing, due to Zim constricting his airways. "Let go… of me… Zim!" He coughed out.

Zim loosened his grip on him, but did not let go, "I trusted that you wouldn't try anything while I was gone, but I guess I can't make that mistake again, can I? You are not thinking very clearly." Dib tried to wriggle free, making the Irken tighten his hold on him again.

The paranormal investigator looked his enemy right in the eyes and replied, "I know what I want, and right now I want to die. So why don't you just let me?" Zim released him and mumbled something to himself in the Irken language.

Rubbing his throat and coughing, Dib watched as Zim retracted his spider-like PAK legs and pulled something from his PAK, handing it to him. "The device you are holding is an Irken military-grade ray gun, capable of blasting a hole straight through your pathetic human skull. Since you keep resisting my efforts to help you through this, If you truly wish to die, that gun will make your death utterly painless." Dib examined the weapon. It was purple, with green lines down the middle, a bit larger and bulkier than most of the handguns he had seen.

Zim pointed to a lever on the side of the ray gun, "To fire, just press this lever. I will not stop you." Dib brought the barrel of the weapon up to his head and held it there, hesitating. Then it hit him: he didn't really want to do this. He thought he did, but he really didn't. He wouldn't, not right now anyhow. He lowered the gun and put his head in his hands.

Zim took the ray gun from him and smiled, "Then there is hope for you yet, Dib. I had the safety on, anyway, so even if you had pressed that lever, it wouldn't have gone off. Will you let me help you now?"

Dib sighed, defeated, "Yes, Zim. I'll let you help me."

"Good. As I said before, I will handle Torque and his filthy friends, and you will focus on getting back into the correct frame of mind. Is that understood, Dib-human?" Dib nodded, "Okay, I will try to get better."

Zim smiled, pleased with himself. Torque would suffer unspeakable agony at his hands, he would make sure of that. No one was allowed to hurt Dib except him. NO ONE.

A/N: It's going to get super dark in the next chapter. There will be a ton of gore and things of that nature. People are going to die. Anyways, I'd like to hear your thoughts on this chapter, if you have the time.


	6. Chapter 6

Dib had lied to Zim again. He had other plans. He wanted to get his payback on Torque and the rest of his enemies. He just hoped that Zim didn't know what he was planning. Zim was pretty smart at times, and hopefully this wasn't one of those moments.

Thankfully, Zim didn't seem to notice, because he was still talking, "…then I'll make them feel unimaginable suffering, don't you worry, Dib! They'll get what's coming to them." Dib nodded, pretending like he was listening to the alien's rant. He was sure that Zim's plan would be extremely effective, but then they would fear Zim and not him.

The self-appointed Invader stopped talking, noticing the kids lack of visual cues that would usually tell the Irken that he was paying attention. He also noticed that his eyes were misted over, as if he was in his own little world. "Hey! Dib! Were you listening to my amazing plan?! Huh?"

Snapping out of his thoughts, Dib cleared his throat and looked up from his sitting position beside his bed. "Sorry, Zim. Yeah, I heard you."

Zim wasn't convinced. "Really? Okay then, what do we do after we arrive at skool tomorrow?" Dib thought about it, "um, we… go to-" Zim stopped him, "No, we don't go to class! Well, actually we do, but not right away. I knew you weren't listening to me! Fine, I guess we have to go through the plan again! Pay attention this time!"

He pointed to a whiteboard that he had drawn a diagram on. "After we get on the bus, we will sit near Torque and his 'friends' and look for any weaknesses and insecurities that they may have, as this information may be useful later on. And do not worry about them causing you any trouble on the way. I will make sure no harm comes to you. Anyhow, after we arrive at the Skool, you will distract Ms. Bitters, claiming that you have a sore throat and feel ill, while I sneak out of the classroom undetected.

"From there, we will meet up in the bathroom, and continue perfecting our plan. After that, we'll…" He was interrupted by Prof. Membrane knocking on the door and asking if Dib had done his homework. Dib sighed and rolled his eyes, opening the door a little and said that he did.

After his dad had left, Dib closed his door and sat back down. Zim was mumbling to himself about the stupidity of humans or something. Dib didn't really hear him that well. "Zim, are you sure that this will work? I mean, won't Miss. Bitters notice you're missing, too?" The Irken chuckled to himself, "Don't you worry about me, Dib-stink. I've already prepared a cleverly disguised robot to take my place while I'm gone. No one will notice. You have nothing to worry about. This will all go smoothly." That eased Dib's fears a little, but not completely.

He stayed awake almost all night with Zim making their revenge plan absolutely fool-proof, until by the time it was almost dawn, they were ready. Dib got a few hours sleep while Zim returned to his base until it was time to go to Skool.

As they walked to the bus stop, Zim, wearing his disguise, had Dib repeat the plan back to him so he would remember what to do. As they were about to get on, Zim stopped him and whispered, "Don't mess this up, Dib. We need this to be flawless." Dib nodded and sat down, with Zim sitting across from him. Torque got on a few minutes later, his buddies joining him not too long after. Immediately, they started teasing Dib halfheartedly, but were more focused on talking amongst themselves.

Dib felt oddly safe, knowing that Zim would keep him from harm. When they arrived at Skool, Zim got off and waited for Dib, walking with him into the building. They put some stuff in their lockers and went to Ms. Bitters' classroom. Halfway through her lecture about the Earth and the Doom that had occurred throughout human history, Zim caught Dib's eye and nodded, telling him that it was time.

Dib nodded back and raised his hand. Ms. Bitters stopped lecturing her classmates and sighed, "Yes, Dib, what is it now?" Dib coughed and said, "I think I'm getting sick. My throat hurts and I feel like I'm gonna puke." Ms. Bitters pointed to the door, "Fine, you may go, but don't forget to take the hall pass with you."

Dib got up and looked toward Zim's desk, noting the obvious robot that sat there. Wondering how he left so fast, Dib grabbed the pass and left the room. Quickly walking to the boys restroom, he entered to find it empty, save for him and the alien, of course. Zim was adjusting his wig in the mirror and looked up when he walked in, "Good, you made it. I knew you would, Dib. Are you ready to begin the next phase of our plan?" He smiled wickedly.

Dib nodded, "I've been ready since last night. Let's do this." They walked out of the bathroom, only to run into Torque in the otherwise empty hall. Torque grabbed Dib and snarled, "Where do you think you're going, freak?" Dib looked at Zim, who was at a loss. This was not part of the plan.


	7. Chapter 7

Dib struggled to break free, but it was useless, as Torque was bigger and stronger than him. Zim attempted to assist him. "Hey, get your filthy human hands off of the Dib!" Torque released his prey and turned to Zim. "What are you gonna do about it, runt? You gonna tell your mommy on me?" He taunted, daring him to make a move.

Zim shook his head, "I will do no such thing. So long as you do not lay another finger on the Dib-human, we will not have a problem." Torque grinned. "You mean like this?" He shoved Dib against the wall, only making the alien angry. "If you do not cease this behavior immediately, I will have to intervene, and I promise you, it will get messy if I do!" Torque laughed, shoving Dib again while he mocked the Irken, "Gosh, I am sooo scared!" He said sarcastically.

Zim was getting really angry now. It was taking every ounce of his willpower not to tear into him and forcibly rip out his vital organs. "Okay, I warned you!" He began advancing, but stopped when he saw the look of pure hatred on Dib's face and the freshly sharpened pencil in his hand.

Zim's eyes widened. No, this isn't what we planned for! "Don't do it, Dib!" He lunged forward and grabbed his arm, stopping him. "This is not part of the plan!" He hissed. Torque was shocked, "Did you just try to hurt me?" Zim started pulling on Dib's trench coat, "Let's go back to class, Dib! Don't make this any worse than it already is!" Dib looked from Torque to Zim, deciding what to do.

Finally, after a few seconds, he made up his mind and walked back to Ms. Bitters class. "This isn't over! We'll settle this after Skool!" Torque yelled after them.

For the rest of the day, Dib couldn't stop thinking about Torque and the things he wanted to do to him. Horrible things. He wanted to slit his throat and watch him bleed out, choking for air. He wanted to stab him and make his guts fall out of his body. Those kinds of things. What the hell is wrong with me? He decided some reading would help get his mind off of it, so during lunch he went to the library.

As he walked down the aisles, a section about knives and guns caught his eye. That piqued his interest, so he checked some out and took them back to class with him. He began reading. After the bell rang, signaling the end of Skool for the day, Dib packed up his things and walked out of the building, wanting to get home and prepare for tomorrow, when he would finally get his revenge.

Dib had decided not to follow Zim's plan, because he thought it took too long, and he didn't think it would work that well, anyway. His plan was better. He decided to walk home this time around, instead of taking the bus like Torque did.

When he got home, he left his homework on his desk and began reading his books from the library instead. Some time later, Zim was at his front door, ringing the doorbell impatiently. Dib sighed and went to let him in. "Why didn't you take the bus home like you said you would?" He demanded.

Dib rolled his eyes. "Because I didn't want to, Zim." Zim studied him for a second and replied, "No, it's more than that. You didn't want to be near Torque, right? Or, maybe you have other plans. Yes, that must be the reason. What are you planning, Dib-stink?" Dib pinched the bridge of his nose. "I'm not planning anything! Just leave me alone, OK? I'm very busy at the moment." He started to close the door on the Irken, but he wouldn't give up, "ZIM DEMANDS YOUR ATTENTION!"

Dib opened the door again, "What do you want? I told you I don't have time for this!"

"Then I'm sure you won't mind if I join you in whatever it is you are doing." He pushed past Dib and entered the house. Dib tried to stop him from discovering his plan. "Get out, Zim. We'll talk more tomorrow, okay?" Zim scoffed, "But I want to talk now! We also need to formulate a new plan, since this one didn't go very well."

"Zim, in case you didn't hear me the last eight hundred times, I have a lot of homework to do, so I need you to go, please. And don't you have some scheme to take over the Earth that you need to be working on?"

Zim coughed and stammered, "O-Oh, yes, of course I do. I've just decided to put it on hold until your situation with Torque is resolved. And you never said anything about homework. Why are you trying to get rid of me, Dib? Unless…" His eyes widened. "You're not going to kill him, are you? That was never part of our plan!" Dib tried to contain his anger, but it was difficult, especially with Zim talking and shouting at him. "You are so stupid sometimes, you know that? No, I'm not gonna kill him. I was also never going to go along with your ideas! I've been making my own plans for a while now."

"You WHAT?! I said that I would keep you safe! There's no need for you to take such drastic measures!"

"If you're as desperate as I am, then yes, there is. Besides, he deserves what I'm gonna give him. Now go away." He shut the door and returned to his room, where he had kept a steak knife under his bed that he had stolen from the pantry. He placed it in his backpack and went to his desk to continue reading his books about weapons. He smiled. Tomorrow was gonna be an amazing day.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Dib awoke the next morning, excited to exact his vengeance. He hurriedly ate some breakfast and got dressed, walking out the door and heading to Skool. Zim was waiting for him. "Dib, why were you so mean to me yesterday? What is your plan?" Dib brushed past him and muttered, "Don't worry about it. Everything is gonna be fine." That only worried the Invader even more. "Please, tell me what you are thinking, Dib! Tell me how I can help you!" He pleaded.

Dib laughed dryly. "That's the thing, Zim. You can't. And I don't want you to." Zim was stunned into silence. They arrived at Skool. Dib smiled. "Today will be truly amazing. I can't wait to get started." Zim stopped walking and put an arm out to stop Dib, too. "Please think about this, Dib! Think about the consequences. I can't stop you if you really want to do this, but please consider the fact that you are the only thing keeping me alive! Remember when your dad made you work alongside him and you felt miserable? I almost took off my PAK and let myself die. I felt like my life had no purpose. Do you want me to have to go through that again?"

That was when Dib spotted Torque by the front doors of the Skool, talking with his friends. He took the knife out of his pocket and slowly started walking towards them. Zim saw his change in behavior and saw what he was holding. "Dib, don't do this. You might get your revenge, but you will spend the rest of your miserable human life paying for it." Dib nodded, "I already know that, Zim, but thanks anyway." He continued advancing on his target, never taking his eyes off of him. His grip on the knife handle tightened, as he prepared himself.

He was only a few paces behind him now. "Hey, Torque, I got something to tell you!" Torque turned around and spotted him. He sneered, "What do you want, freak?" Then he saw the knife, the sunlight reflecting off of the blade, somehow making it seem all the more menacing.

He backed up a few paces, "Look man, I don't want any trouble, okay? I'm sorry about how I've been treating you, but you don't have to hurt me!" Dib grinned, "It's too late for sorry, Torque. I've been wanting to do this for a long time." He raised the knife, preparing to deliver the blow,- and cried out, falling to the ground, clutching his leg. Blood poured from the wound, pooling on the grass.

Zim stood over him, a PAK leg retracting, disappearing in the blink of an eye. "I'm sorry, Dib, but I've decided not to allow this to happen." Torque backed away further, frightened by this sudden display of hostility from his victims, "What are you?" Zim flashed him a menacing grin, "I'm your worst nightmare, human! Now, Prepare to feel the wrath of ZIM!"


	8. Chapter 8

Zim knelt to tend to Dib's injury, taking out some gauze he had stored in his PAK. Torque looked around him, trying to find a way out of this. Zim took out the ray gun that he had given Dib the night before, pointing it at the group of kids in front of him, "I wouldn't try running if I were you. You won't get very far." He was glad that everyone else had left the area. It gave him more time to think of ways to punish his prisoners.

He wrapped the bandages tightly around Dib's leg, keeping an eye on his hostages while doing so. One of Torque's posse, Ethan, sneered, "You're going to hurt us with a toy gun? Good luck with that." Torque hurriedly shushed him. Zim laughed, "I assure you, this is no toy. Observe." He fired, hitting Ethan in the arm. The boy cried out, clutching his wound.

The rest of his hostages cried out in fear. Some began shouting for help, but Zim silenced their cries with another well-placed shot fired at the wall behind them. "BE QUIET! Now, tell me why you feel the need to relentlessly abuse and humiliate me and the Dib-worm." Torque remained silent.

Zim sighed, "If you do not answer my question, I will be inclined to shoot you. You don't want that, do you?"

Torque shook his head. "No, I don't."

"THEN ANSWER ZIM'S QUESTION!"

"I-I don't know why!" Torque stuttered. "It's just-"

"Shoot him, Zim! Kill him!" Dib yelled from his spot against the wall. Zim stared at his friend, shocked. "You…WANT Zim to shoot the humans?"

"Yes! They deserve it! Do it!"

Zim raised his weapon, pointing it at Torque, Putting his finger on the trigger, he pressed it slowly, his hands shaking slightly, his breathing erratic.

He looked from Dib to Torque, not liking the pressure Dib was putting on him. "But- I-"

"You want me to feel safe, don't you, Zim? To be happy? If you do this, I will be. All it takes is one twitch of your finger. Do it."

Zim didn't know why he was feeling this way. Normally, he would have no qualms about killing humans. Maybe his time with Dib had changed him. Torque continued pleading for his life, Confusing Zim. What was he supposed to do? They weren't supposed to be killing anyone, just scaring them!

Zim just wanted silence. He needed to think.

Dib kept pressuring him. "Do it, Zim! Blow his brains out!"

No. No, no no!

"SILENCE!" Zim raised the gun… and fired.

A/N: I know this chapter is short, but I'm running out of ideas for this story. I think it's gone on for too long. It was supposed to be over last chapter. I don't know if I'll do more of this. We'll see.


	9. Chapter 9

The round struck centimeters from Torque's head. Zim handed the gun to Dib and walked up to his victims. He smiled. "I apologize for that. My time with the Dib-human caused me to re-think my plan for a moment, but then I decided that this is the best way to insure that you do not hurt him again. I do not wish to harm you any further, unless you force me to. Now, you still have not answered Zim's questions to his satisfaction."

Dib pointed the gun at one of Torque's friends. "Answer his question, Torque."

"Like I said before, I don't know why! It was just fun to me!"

Zim thought about that. "Hm… Zim is not satisfied with your answer." He extended one of his PAK legs and placed the tip against Torque's throat. "Tell me the real reason, human."

"That _is_ the reason!"

"No, it isn't! You're lying!" He pressed the PAK leg harder against Torque's throat, drawing blood.

"Okay, okay! I'll tell you!"

Zim retracted his weapon. "Excellent."

Torque took a deep breath, and began to explain himself. "My dog died recently. I didn't know how to handle it, so I took it out on you and a few other kids. I'm sorry. I was in so much pain over my own loss, I didn't stop to think how I must have made you feel." He looked at Dib. "Do you forgive me?"

Dib turned off the safety. "No." He fired, hitting Torque between the eyes, killing him. Zim stared at Dib, shocked. "Why did you _do_ that?!"

Dib pointed the ray gun at the other hostages. "Your turn." Zim tackled him and they wrestled for control of the gun. Dib started throwing punches, which Zim easily blocked. "Give me the gun, Dib!"

"No! They _all_ have to know how I felt! They have to know what they did to me! They need to suffer for it!"

Dib hit Zim in the face, stunning him. The paranormal investigator began walking toward his house. Torque's friends seized their chance and made a run for it. Zim felt blood trickling down his face. He could taste it. It enraged him. He ran after Dib, quickly catching up to him. He grabbed his shirt.

"Listen to me! I can help you!"

Dib shook him off. "I told you, I don't want your help, Zim!"

"But I can keep you out of trouble! I can protect you from the Earth authorities!"

Dib kept walking. "I can take care of myself. I'll be fine without you."

Zim shook his head. "No, you won't! If the authorities don't kill you, your guilt will! Please, let me help you!"

"And how would you do that, huh?! Perform experiments and tests on me? No thanks! I think I'll take my chances with the cops."

But Zim would not give up easily. He grabbed Dib's arm. "Come back to the base with me! That's the safest place for you to be right now! I'll tell the computer to grant you access to the lower levels."

Dib pulled out the ray gun and placed his finger on the trigger. "I said NO!" Zim narrowed his eyes. "You won't shoot me."

Dib sighed and lowered the gun. "You're right. I couldn't do that."

Zim looked around. The streets were empty, at least for now. "Okay then. If you don't want to go to the base, we can go somewhere else. Which location do you prefer we go to?"

Dib looked the Irken dead in the eyes. "I want to go back home. I want to pretend like this never happened."

Zim shook his head. "That's not an option, Dib-beast. That's the first place the authorities will look. Pick a different destination."

"I don't know where else to go!"

"Okay then! TO THE BASE!" Zim started marching toward his house. Dib sighed and tagged along. They entered. "Dib Membrane, you do not have permission to enter!" The computer said. "Vacate the premises immediately or be destroyed!"

Zim spoke up. "Computer! Override code: Waffles!" The computer stood down. "Access granted. Proceed, Dib Membrane."

The alien walked into the kitchen and took off his disguise. "You now have access to the lower levels of my base, Dib. You'll be safe there. As long as you do not touch or break anything, you are welcome to stay there for as long as you wish. Do I make myself clear?"

Dib nodded. "Sure."

"I'm serious, Dib-stink. Do _not_ touch anything."

"Okay, okay! God, Zim! You sound like my sister!"

"Well… at least I don't have a big head!"

Dib rolled his eyes. "Oh, like I've never heard that comeback before! Where's Gir?"

Zim walked to the elevator and got into it. "I believe he is at the store buying 'chocolate.' He loves that stuff. I don't understand why. It's disgusting!"

Dib walked up to examine one of Zim's experiments. It was in a contaminant chamber. The beast roared when it spotted Dib, lunging at him and hitting the glass that separated them. Zim noticed the human's staring. "That is one of my experiments that I planned to use to destroy Earth before all this _stuff_ happened. Do not worry, it can't hurt you."

Dib looked away from the abomination. "Good to know."

Zim walked up to his former enemy and put a gloved hand on his arm. "Don't worry about Torque's friends, Dib. No one will believe them about me, but if there's a chance anyone believes the part about you killing someone in front of them, I will take care of it. I promise, I won't let anything cause you harm. The base is on full lockdown, no one will come in or out without the Computer and I knowing about it." Zim put his disguise back on and returned to the elevator. "I have to go get GIR. He likes to spend too much of our Earth monies when he goes shopping. Stay here."

He went up to the house. Dib continued looking around. There were some pretty amazing things down there. He told the computer to take him up to the living room, and watched TV until Zim returned with Gir.

Gir ran over and hugged him. "I missed you! Master is worried about you! Watcha' watching?" Dib changed the channel. He had been watching a documentary about serial killers. "Um, nothing Gir. Don't worry about it. What do you want to watch?"

"Angry Monkey Show!"

Dib handed the remote to the robot and went back down to the base until he got hungry. "Zim?" He asked when he went back up.

"What is it, Dib-monster?" Asked the Irken.

Dib looked down at the floor. "I'm hungry."

"There's food in the pantry." Zim muttered. He looked at Dib. "Is everything to your liking?"

Dib nodded. "Yes, everything is fine. Thanks for asking." He went to the pantry and got some food. He microwaved it and started to eat. "Wow, this is really good."

Zim examined the meal. "Gir bought that. It's his favorite food. If you ask me, I find it rather revolting." It was Mac n' Cheese. Dib used to eat it all the time when he was younger.

Zim watched him eat for a while, and talked about other things with him, then left to spend time with Gir. Dib went to join them. He _did_ feel safe here, he couldn't deny that. He felt safer here with Zim than he did at his own house, which was saying something. Namely about how shitty his life at home was, if he'd rather be with his ex- nemesis instead of his own flesh and blood.

Zim had treated him better in these last few hours than Gaz and his father had in his whole lifetime. Not that he didn't appreciate it, he did, very much so. He was also lucky that the cops in this city were as dumb as a sack of bricks, otherwise they probably would have been looking for him right now.

Wait a minute. Why _weren't_ they looking for him right now?


	10. Chapter 10

Dib looked out the window. "Zim? Don't you think it's a little strange that the cops aren't looking for me yet?"

"Your question puzzles me, Dib-beast. Do you _want_ them to find you?"

Dib shook his head. "No, of course not. But there should be a manhunt for me at this point. I mean, I killed a kid."

Zim sighed. "He deserved it, Dib. I would have done the same thing had I been in your situation. We Irken's are bred for violence. It's in our blood. It's all we know. I would have tortured him until his insides were on the outside, but you ended it quickly. You gave him mercy. Why?"

Dib thought about that. Why _didn't_ he torture Torque? He certainly would have deserved it. He would have suffered the same way Dib had suffered. He shrugged. "I don't know. I guess I just wanted it to be over."

Zim smiled. "Well, whatever the reason, you have earned my respect and admiration, Dib. The Irken Armada would be glad to have you. If you were an Irken, that is."

Dib continued staring out the window. "Umm.. thanks." He replied softly, not knowing what else to say to that.

Zim walked over and closed the blinds on the window. "This is not a good use of your time, Dib. It will only make you dwell on the past, and we can't have that. If you don't accept it and move on, your guilt will be the death of you. Trust me, I know what I'm talking about. My first kill wasn't easy, but it was necessary. For a time, I felt the same way that you do now. But, eventually, you will learn to cope. I promise you. It _will_ get better."

"How? _How_ will it get better? When will I stop feeling this way?"

Zim thought about it for a moment. Finally, he spoke. "I suppose It depends on how much guilt you are currently feeling. It can take from a few days to a few months for it to fade. Or you may never get over it. I still have these feelings occasionally."

Zim walked into the living room and sat on the couch, patting the seat next to his. "Come, Dib. Sit with me." Zim waited until his friend was settled before he continued talking. "Back on Irk, when I was training to become an Invader, before the training could be completed, I had to prove to my Tallest that I could carry out orders without hesitation, without thought. Even if it meant taking a life."

Dib started to speak, but Zim held up a hand for silence. He continued, "They brought out one of my… I suppose you could call him a 'friend'…they brought him before me and gave me a weapon, and ordered me to terminate him. To prove my loyalty, they said. To prove I was ready. I believed I was ready. I had done this so many times in our simulations, what was one more time? I raised my weapon, prepared to strike, I savored the look of fear in his eyes. It felt right, to be in control for once.

But I hesitated. I told myself it was for a good cause, for my Tallest, for the whole Irken race. I had to do this. I didn't have a choice. So.. I did it. I killed him. It was then that I earned the rank of Invader."

Dib sat there, shocked. "Wow. That is so messed up. They forced you to kill for their pleasure?"

Zim shrugged. "It was either kill, or be destroyed. I had no choice in the matter."

"Yes, you did! You always have a choice!"

Zim growled. "You are not understanding me, Dib-beast! I had to! When the Tallest give you an order, you do not refuse! "

"Why not?"

"Because then I would have been arrested for disobedience. The penalty for defying our Tallest's wishes is death."

Dib shook his head in disbelief. "Wow. I can't believe it. Your race is extremely fucked up. Your leaders sound like sociopaths."

"Zim demands you tell him what that means!"

"A sociopath?"

Zim sighed in annoyance. "Yes, Dib."

"Well, here on Earth, it's a person who doesn't care about anyone else. They don't feel fear, or love. Most of them are killers."

Zim smiled. "Really? Interesting. Perhaps I can use these types of humans to my advantage. They may even want to assist me in conquering this filthy planet!" Dib rolled his eyes and walked to the front door, starting to open it.

Zim got up and quickly pulled Dib away from the door. "What do you think you're doing?" He hissed.

Dib glared at the alien. "I'm going out. I'm tired of being stuck in here."

"Zim forbids you from leaving! You must stay in the base until I know if it is safe to leave!" The Irken snapped at him.

"When will that be, huh? Weeks? Months? How long, Zim?"

The alien looked away. "Zim… does not know." Dib pinched the bridge of his nose. "So I'm stuck here indefinitely? Well, that's just fan-fucking-tastic, isn't it? So, what am I supposed to do now?"

"You could watch TV with Gir." Zim suggested. "Or you could help me with some of my experiments." Dib perked up then. He hopped off the couch with a smile. "Oh, yes, please! I would love to help you!"

He followed Zim down to the base and helped him work for a few hours. Believe it or not, he was actually having a lot of fun helping Zim. He was almost sad when they finished. What they had created was astonishing. He didn't quite know what it was, but he knew that he liked the look of it.

He decided to ask Zim what it was they had made. The Irken Elite picked it up and examined it. "This, Dib, is quite possibly my greatest creation yet. It will soil all of this planet's meat supply, rendering the humans powerless to refuse my demands, and they will bow before me and worship me as the new ruler of Earth! It is genius!"

Dib knew that Zim's plan would inevitably fail. _I bet even without me trying to stop him, he would never succeed in taking over this planet._ Dib had to admit, though, Zim was extremely intelligent, and there was a very small chance that he might eventually learn how to succeed in his 'mission' someday.

"Zim, are you sure your plan will work this time?"

The alien laughed. "Stupid human! Of course it will work!"

"How do you know?" He asked as they rode the elevator up to the house.

The Irken was silent for a second. "Hmmm. You make a good point, Dib. Perhaps I should test it." He went the kitchen and got out some meat, then aimed the contraption and fired. It worked.

Zim laughed victoriously. "SUCCESS! I knew it would work!" He walked into the living room, smirking. "You see, Dib? I told you it would-" He stopped talking when he saw the front door, wide open. Dib was gone.

 **A/N: I've decided to continue this story. I have ideas for several more chapters.**


	11. Chapter 11

Zim growled. "I knew I shouldn't have turned my back on him for a second!" He began throwing a tantrum, but stopped. "Wait a minute. He couldn't have gone far! I bet I can find him easy!" It was getting dark out. He didn't have much time. Zim put on his disguise and went hunting.

"Stupid Zim, telling me what to do. He can't control me! I can do what I want!" Dib ranted to himself as he walked in the empty street. He stopped for a moment to admire the setting sun. He always thought it looked very beautiful. He looked around and realized he was near his skool.

He decided to see if Torque's body was still where he had left it. He walked to the spot where the body had been lying only a few hours before. He was shocked to discover that it was gone. He spent a few minutes looking for it, then came to the conclusion that someone must have taken it. And he had a good guess as to who that might be.

Right on cue, Zim's voice penetrated the darkness. "What are you doing, Dib-beast? I thought I told you to stay at the base! Why do you continue to disobey me? I'm only trying to help you!"

Dib turned to face him. "Did you move Torque's body?"

"That is none of your concern! I demand that you return to the base this instant!" Zim responded, obviously trying to avoid answering his question. Dib wasn't giving up. "Zim, tell me what happened to the body."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"I think you know perfectly well what I'm talking about. Did you have something to do with this?"

Zim scoffed. "No, of course not! Why would you have such thoughts?" He looked away.

Dib pointed at him. "You did, didn't you?! Tell me what you did!"

Zim threw up his little arms in defeat. "Alright! I moved the human's corpse! Are you satisfied now?!"

Dib put his hands in his pockets. "Then where is it?"

"Where is what?"

"The body. Where did you put it?"

Zim put a gloved finger on his chin, thinking. "Zim does not think that he is ready to divulge this information to you at this time." He drawled. "He will tell you when he thinks you are ready."

Dib growled. "I think I deserve to know now, Zim! It's important!"

The Invader put his hands on his hips. "I do not wish to discuss this with you any further. Go back to the base."

Dib stood his ground. "No. Fuck you!" Zim's eyes narrowed dangerously. "What did you say, human filth?" He hissed threateningly.

"You heard me. I'm not going back there. There's nothing to do, and I feel like a prisoner over there. Plus, I don't think the cops are looking for me. I doubt they even know what I did!"

Zim took a step forward. "I advise you to cease this behavior immediately and obey me!"

Dib was getting angry. He balled his hands into fists. Zim noticed this action. He smiled. "Oh, Dib. You won't beat me in hand-to-hand combat. My skills are far more superior to yours."

Dib swung. Zim blocked. Dib swung again, aiming for the alien's squeedlyspooch. Zim blocked again and swung back.

They traded blows for a minute or two, with Zim quickly gaining the upper hand and standing over Dib, putting the tip of a PAK leg against his throat, much like he had done to Torque. "I win, Dib."

The paranormal investigator stared. Zim noticed his eyes looked hollow and empty, no light in them. Only darkness. Only pain. Dib spoke. "You haven't won yet."

The Irken noticed the knife too late. Red-hot pain enveloped him as it was shoved into his body, bright green blood poured from the wound. He screamed, a chilling sound that made Dib shiver. He got up and ran off into the night, swallowed by the darkness.

Zim whimpered softly and gripped the knife's handle, quickly yanking it free. He screamed again as fresh waves of pain washed over him, consumed him for a moment, then lessened. He slowly got out his communicator from his PAK. He spoke into it. "GIR! Gir, can you hear me? I need you to come and get me! I'm hurt! Gir?" There was no answer.

Zim groaned and clutched his wound. There would be no help for him. He was on his own this time. His vision swam, tinged with darkness. He fought to stay conscious, but it was a losing battle. His vision went dark, and he surrendered to it.

He slept.

 **A/N: Awww, poor Zim! I feel really bad for doing that to him, but hopefully he pulls through! Also, it's my birthday today! Yay for me. I also did not expect Dib to pull out a knife. I'm sure that was a surprise to Zim. Anyway, until next time! See you all later!**


	12. Chapter 12

Dib ran until his sides hurt. He stopped to catch his breath. He had been running for a while. He couldn't believe he had actually stabbed Zim, his friend. The one who had just been trying to protect him, the only one who understood him.

Zim was the only one who actually cared for him, and he was pushing him away. Dib felt like crying. He had more than likely just lost the only real friend he had ever had. He wondered if the alien was dead. Dib assumed so. The knife's blade had been shoved deep inside of Zim. He had been trying to kill him.

He wondered, if Zim were to survive, if the Irken would hate him now.

XXXXXXXXXX.

Zim did not dream. Most Irken's didn't. He felt like he was being suffocated by the blackness, drowning in it. It was obviously not a pleasant feeling. He awoke a few hours later, his PAK having fixed most of the internal damage, but the wound still throbbed with pain every few steps. He managed to walk on shaky legs back to his base.

GIR sat on the couch watching TV when Zim entered. The S.I.R. Unit smiled warmly at his Master and waved. Zim mumbled a greeting and stumbled to the entrance to his base, weakly telling the computer to take him to the medical bay.

He hurriedly stitched up his wound, which didn't hurt much because of all the painkillers his PAK was currently pumping into his bloodstream, and went back up to the living room. He told Gir that he would be gone for a little while longer and to behave himself until he returned. He left.

He hoped that the foolish human hadn't already killed himself. He was seriously considering resorting to surgery, or something similar, to try and fix Dib. His friend needed help, of that Zim was absolutely certain.

But the problem was that Zim had no idea where the young paranormal investigator had run off to, or where and how to find him. He groaned, both from pain and frustration. Why did that stupid human have to keep running off like this? He was only making things worse for himself, he had to know that.

Zim felt his little alien heart breaking just thinking about it. He really did care for Dib, but sometimes it was difficult to not feel as though there was no hope for him. That he was simply past saving.

He shook his head to clear away those kinds of thoughts. There was always hope! He could do this! He just had to find a solution that would work for the Dib-beast without having to cause him any pain or discomfort in the process.

He supposed he could try some stuff that his own race would do when they attempted to fix a Defective, and sometimes it would work, and sometimes it wouldn't, but it was pretty painful, and Zim wasn't sure if Dib would survive the procedure. He didn't want to do that particular method unless it was absolutely necessary. Unless he didn't have a choice.

Zim was sure that he would figure something out, he always did. But right now, he needed to focus on finding Dib. He had placed a tracking device on him while he was sleeping earlier, and his last known location was near where Zim was at the moment.

The Dib-Beast must have discovered the device and gotten rid of it. Zim thought bitterly. Now he had no clue where to begin looking. Two young teenagers walked past. Zim would normally never ask for assistance, but in this situation he was desperate enough to do so.

The little alien grabbed one of their sleeves. "You! Filthy stink monster! Have you seen a young Earth smeet in a trench coat? Black hair? Glasses?"

Both people shook their heads, saying no, they have not spotted anyone matching that description, and continued walking. Zim was getting frustrated and a little scared, too. He had looked everywhere, but still hadn't found even a trace of Dib.

Zim decided to just go back to his base, certain that the kid would go back there at some point. He just had to be patient and wait him out. He would come back, Zim was sure of it.

He went down to the bowels of his secret base and went into a room that not even Dib knew about (Zim called this room the Dissection Room), and stopped at one of the tables, where he had lain out a body. Torque lay there, his head split open and his brain exposed.

The Irken picked up a tool that sat nearby and resumed slicing into Torque's brain. He was doing tests to discover what makes them feel the need to harm and humiliate others. So far, Zim hadn't found out much, but that didn't mean that he wasn't going to stop trying anytime soon. Quite the opposite, actually. He was doing this partially to understand why Dib shot this person, and also partially out of his own curiosity of the human race's anatomy systems.

They were very weak, humans. It didn't take much to harm or kill them. That was one of the many, many reasons why the Irken race was far more superior, and why the humans must be destroyed, especially the ones who had caused the Dib-stink to snap and resort to murder. They would discover a world of never-ending suffering at his own hands, he would make sure of that.

He gritted his teeth in anger, thinking back to all the times they had hurt Dib and himself. He would rip out their guts with his bare hands and strangle each of them with their own organs. He would do such terrible things to them. His species were experts when it came to the subject of torture, and he would put those skills to good use. For Dib's sake.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Dib walked into an abandoned house, looking around and deciding that he would camp here for the night. He was getting a little tired, anyway. He had stopped by his own house and packed a backpack full of stuff, like food and such, and he got out a blanket and a pillow and made himself at home. He wasn't sure where he was going, just that he had to keep walking.

He didn't know why everybody hated him so much. He hadn't done anything to deserve it, except try to prove that aliens did in fact exist and that one walked among them at this very moment, and that didn't turn out so good. No one will ever believe him, no matter what he did. So he had stopped trying a few years ago. And his life had honestly been better without the constant heckling from his peers, until last year, at least. That was when Torque started on him. And he was glad that he was gone. But he wasn't sure if he would do it again, if given the chance. He probably wouldn't. He would probably just let Zim deal with him, but maybe that would have been an even worse punishment for the bully. Zim had a history of… overreacting, when it came to these kinds of problems.

He hoped that Zim was okay. He really did.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Zim was very much not alright, at least emotionally. He was on the verge of having what the humans call a 'meltdown.' It had been a few hours since he had noticed Dib was gone, and he was worried. What if he had killed again? What if there were witnesses? What if the Earth authorities had him? What if he was dead, or worse? Zim couldn't bear to think of the answers to those questions. If he found that Dib had died, then he would have no reason to continue living. He would remove his PAK immediately and wait to die. He wouldn't be able to take it.

He sighed. He would just have to try harder, then. Maybe he could try this 'electroshock therapy' the humans have been talking about. That might work.

 _I guess painful procedures are unavoidable. The Dib did this to himself. I am not to blame. He forced my hand._ The Irken tried to convince himself, but it was not easy.

He felt like _he_ was to blame, like he could have prevented this somehow. _Maybe if I had paid closer attention to him.._ If the Dib-human had truly wanted his help, then he would've stayed at the base like Zim had so kindly asked, instead of running off again for the billionth time. He shook his head. Humans were so difficult to understand. Why they did these kinds of things, Zim did not know. He didn't think he would ever truly understand their culture, mannerisms, and thought patterns, no matter how much research he conducted on their brains or bodies.

He simply did not know how to help his friend.

 **A/N: And that's all for this chapter. Hope you enjoyed.** **I feel bad for Zim. He's trying so hard to help, and Dib is pushing him away. That's gotta hurt. I also have a surprise for all of you. How would you feel if I wrote a sequel to 'Rage'? I'm seriously considering it.**


	13. Chapter 13

Zim knew that Dib would eventually return to the base. And when he did, the Irken would be ready for him. The human had been causing problems for him for a while now, and it was time that he put a stop to it. He went down to his lab to begin preparing for Dib's return.

He knew that Dib hadn't wanted to kill Torque. He just felt that he had no choice. Zim probably would have done the same thing. Actually, Zim knew, without a doubt in his mind, that he would have done the same thing. It was his duty to protect Dib, to keep him out of trouble, and he couldn't even do that!

His mind drifted back to the night before, when Dib had stabbed him. The human's eyes had been… empty. There had been no emotion in them. None that he could see, anyway. But when he spoke, his voice conveyed a lot of pain and sadness, and a lot of confusion, as well. Like he wasn't sure what he wanted or how to get it. Which Zim could understand. He feels that way sometimes, too.

He and Dib were more alike than either of them knew. Sometimes, when Dib would lash out at him, or when he'd try to hurt him, there had been times when Zim had wanted to strike back, to make him understand that he would never give up on Dib, never stop trying to fix him, in his own barbaric way.

And if he had to inflict pain to make Dib see that, then so be it. Pain is an excellent teacher. It hardly ever fails to motivate. Zim knew, if Dib didn't see the error of his ways soon, that he just might need to take more extreme measures to ensure his safety, for Dib's sake, and quite possibly for his own, as well.

He sighed, frustrated with himself. _Why_ didn't he see this coming? He _knew_ that his friend was unhinged, and possibly a little frightened, too. Who wouldn't be, after all the things Dib had put himself through? Dib was a mess, psychologically and maybe even physically, and it was Zim's job to help put him back together as best he could.

The alien had prepared a containment chamber to hold Dib, if it ever came to that, though Zim hoped that it wouldn't. But in case it ever did, he wanted to be ready for it.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Dib woke up and smiled. He was finally free to do as he wished, without Zim standing over him the whole time. He packed up his things and slung the backpack over his shoulder, getting ready to find another place to stay. He had to keep moving so that a certain green alien would not find him. He knew that Zim was looking for him, trying to bring him back to the base or possibly someplace else at this point.

He didn't want to go back to Zim unless he absolutely needed to. He didn't want to be stuck there for who knows how long. He had been bored out of his mind over there, and he did not want to go through that a second time. He walked out the front door of the little house, shielding his eyes from the sun. He wished that he had brought a hat or an umbrella or something to keep the sun's rays off of his skin.

He walked around for a bit. It was still early, the sun was just beginning to rise. He usually liked this time of day, but for some reason he didn't find comfort in the rising sun, as he normally did. He still had thoughts sometimes. Thoughts of dying, of killing himself. A part of him still wanted to, though he didn't think about it as frequently as he did before he had killed Torque.

He still had to kill the others who had bullied him, Torque's cronies. They were still on his list. He hadn't forgotten about them, he would never forget about them. Zim had told him repeatedly to just forget about them, that they wouldn't mess with him anymore, not after what he did to Torque.

Dib had listened to him, for a time. He had ignored his growing bloodlust, but now he couldn't wait any longer. He had to find them, kill them. They had to pay for what they did to him. He hadn't bothered to learn their names before, but now he needed to if he was going to exact his vengeance upon them.

He got out his phone. He had charged it before he had fled the base, so it still had a full battery. He had written his target's names and home addresses down in his notes. First one was Joseph McCreely. He didn't live too far from here. A few blocks. Dib put his phone back in his pocket and walked a little faster, with purpose in his step. He had some killing to do.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Zim was currently ranting to himself, lost in his delusions. "…can't do this, he _can't_! He… I thought he was getting better, but then he made false promises, made me think he had changed! But he didn't, _he didn't_! It was all lies, _all lies_! I'm sorry, My Tallest. I've failed you. You must be so disappointed in me!

But I will make this right, I promise you, My Tallest! As soon as I find this… this _worm child_ , I will continue conquering this planet! I just need a little more time! I just… yes. Yes, I know. I know what I must do now. Thank you, My Tallest."

He went back up to his living room, filled with determination. He had a human to find.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Dib continued walking, until he was stopped by a homeless man. "Hey, kid, do you have any cash?" Dib muttered a "No." And got out his knife, slashing at the man's throat. Blood spewed forth, soaking Dib's face and clothes. The man dropped, dead. "Sorry, but you shouldn't sneak up on people like that. They may end up accidentally killing you." Dib kept walking, ducking into an alley to change into a set of fresh clothes, and to wash off his face, ditching the blood-covered shirt and pants.

He walked up to Joseph's front door and knocked. A boy of about seventeen answered. Dib smiled. "Joseph McCreely? I have something to tell you." He brought out the blood-covered knife and held it up against his tormentor's throat. "Get inside. _Go_!" He slammed and locked the door behind them. He couldn't believe he was actually doing this. _Maybe if I had listened to Zim, I wouldn't have to do this. I am gonna be in sooo much trouble when he finds me, that's for sure. But who needs him, right? I can take care of myself. I don't need him to look after me!_

Dib pressed the knife harder against his victims throat, ignoring him as he pleaded for his life. He would make this quick. After a moment of hesitation, he stabbed him in the throat. Tears fell from Dib's eyes, as he felt a rush like never before. It was pleasant, but he didn't want it. He wanted to feel bad. He yanked the knife free, and Joseph fell to the floor, choking, until after a minute or two, he was still.

Dib ran from the house, breathing heavily. He needed to call someone, to tell them what he did. So they could know what kind of person he was. But only Zim knew, only Zim would understand. So with a sigh, he pulled out his phone and dialed the Irken's number. After a few rings, he picked up. "Hello? Who is this?"

"It's Dib, Zim."

"Dib-beast? Where are you?! Why have you not come back? I thought we had-"

"Shut up and listen to me, Zim! I messed up, and I need you to come get me, OK? I'm at.." he looked up at the street sign. "…I'm at Mulberry street."

He could hear Zim's irritated groan. "What do you mean 'you messed up?' What did you do, Dib?! Tell me!"

Dib looked around him. He was alone, for now. "I'll tell you later, Zim! Just come get me!"

Zim sighed. "Well, I was just about to look for you, anyway. Stay there. I'll send GIR over to bring you back, and then we will discuss whatever it was you got yourself into this time. GIR! Go get Dib! He's on Rasp- I mean Mulberry Street!" He hung up.

Dib waited. A few minutes later, GIR showed up, Rocket boosters activated. Dib climbed onto the S.I.R. Unit's back and in no time at all, they were at Zim's base. The Irken scowled at him when he entered, and Dib knew that Zim was moments away from yelling at him.

Sure enough, just as he predicted, Zim began ranting and shouting. "WHY WHY WHY did you leave _again_ , Dib?! I don't understand it, I don't understand why you will not accept my assistance! Do you want to be thrown in that place where all the other horrible stink-meats go?!"

"Prison," Dib corrected. "You mean prison."

"WHATEVER! The point is, you _do not_ go out unless you have my permission! I've told you _countless_ times, Dib-beast! Why won't you _listen_?" He took a deep breath to calm himself. "Now, what is the problem this time? Why did you call me? You sounded frightened and nervous. Like you did something."

Dib shifted his weight from one foot to the other, thinking of a response. Zim's eyes felt like they were boring holes into his brain, reading his thoughts. It made him uncomfortable. "Um, well… don't get mad but, I kinda...um, I kinda maybe… sorta… killed a few more people."

Zim growled and slammed his fists on the table. "You just can't stop, can you?! I give you sanctuary in my home, in my secret _base_ , I _feed_ you, I give you everything you want, everything you need to survive, and you just throw it all away for some... some stupid revenge plan!" Zim climbed on top of the kitchen table so that he was eye-level with the human.

"I will _not_ tell you again, Dib-stink. They will not hurt you anymore! And even if they tried to, I would protect you! You don't need to kill anymore! Stop this! Please! Just stay here and wait for all of this to… what are the words I am looking for? Umm… _blow over_. Yes. I promise you, Dib, it will not be much longer. I will take care of the bodies. _Please_ try not to arouse any more suspicion. That's the last thing I need right now."

But Dib was determined to get his revenge. "You know what, Zim? I appreciate you giving me a place to stay and everything, but I don't think I need you anymore. I can take care of myself."

Zim scoffed. "Really? Well, from what I've seen so far, you clearly cannot. You obviously need extra help. You have changed, Dib. I liked this new you at first, but now I just want the old Dib back. You have clearly lost it."

Dib clenched his fists. "I've killed two people recently, Zim. Don't think I won't kill you, too."

Zim laughed. "YOU? Kill _me_? I would _love_ to see you try, Dib-stink." He held out his arms, giving Dib a clear shot. "Go ahead. Try it. I dare you!"

Dib stood up and tried not to take the bait. _Don't do it. Don't try it. You're better than this! Fight it! You have to-_

Dib swung. Zim blocked and kicked, landing a blow to his adversary's face. Dib stumbled backwards. Zim jumped down and kept up his assault, hitting his stomach, his ribs, his diaphragm. Dib blocked and fought back the best he could, but he was no match for a trained Invader. Zim kept throwing punches and sometimes using his PAK legs to wear Dib down. He was a blur, he was everywhere at once.

Dib finally collapsed against the wall, tying to catch his breath, bleeding in several places. Zim sat in his lap, a PAK leg against his throat. "No more!" Dib gasped out. "You win! No more!"

Zim retracted his PAK leg and helped him up. "You will _never_ win against me in unarmed combat, Dib. Don't ever forget that."

The Irken began walking into the living room. Dib wasn't ready to give up yet. He spotted a plank of wood in the corner of the room. He grabbed it and ran at Zim, hitting him over the head with it. Zim fell to the ground. Dib used his legs to pin Zim to the floor while he put his hands around the aliens neck and squeezed. Harder. Harder, still. Until Zim stopped moving.

Dib got up and looked down at him, sneering. "I win." He said.

 **A/N: WOW, that was all kinds of crazy! Hope you liked it! Dib really has lost it, hasn't he? Only Zim can fix him, but he's on the ground, possibly unconscious. Or IS he?**


	14. Chapter 14

Dib walked into the living room and sat down to rest for a bit. His wounds stung, and he was out of breath from the beating he had received from Zim. He growled as he stared at the Irken in the other room. He was always trying to ruin his plans. Now he knew what it felt like when he himself would cause Zim's plans to fail in the past.

He sighed as he remembered those battles. What fun they had been! He wished that they could go back to the way things were before. Before he had started killing. But Dib knew that it would never be the same. He would never be the same, even if Zim somehow did manage to fix him, to make him the way he used to be.

He felt immense guilt for all the things he had done, all the people he had killed. He had told himself that he had needed to do those things, that it had been necessary, because if he didn't do them, then he would never be able to get his revenge and would never be able to move forward with his life.

Dib was so lost in his own thoughts that he failed to notice Zim opening his eyes as he began reaching for something in his PAK. "Don't move, Dib!" The Irken shouted as he leapt up from the floor, pointing an inferior human taser directly at his chest.

Dib stands up, startled at the sudden outburst. "Zim, what are you doing?"

"I'm doing what I have to! I will not allow you to carry out your plans. You are my responsibility, and now you've given me no other option."

Dib gave Zim a confused stare. "What are you talking about?" Zim put his finger on the taser's trigger. "Come with me to the lab, Dib. I have something to show you." He kept the taser aimed at Dib's back, in case he tried anything, as they proceeded to the elevator that was disguised as a toilet.

Zim made Dib go down first. When the alien had reached the floor Dib was on, he got out and once again aimed the stun device at Dib. "Proceed into that metal containment chamber." He ordered, gesturing with his weapon. Dib sighed and remained where he stood, next to the opening of the chamber.

Zim walked up to him and placed the taser against his chest. "I said get in. Now!" Dib stuck out his tongue at the Irken.

Zim sighed. "Very well." He activated his PAK legs, picking up Dib and tossing him in, the door sealing shut, trapping the human inside of it.

Dib got up and began pounding on the glass walls. "Let me out, Zim! I need to get back to my family." Zim shook his head. "I'm afraid that's not happening, Dib-stink. Your family does not care for you. I am the only one who does." Dib sighed. "Whatever. So, how long do I have to stay in here? There's nothing to do."

Zim ignored Dib's question and gestured to the television in the corner. "You may watch TV if you wish."

"What about food and water?"

"GIR will bring your food and anything else you may require to you." There was a small slot in the door where food and other stuff could be slid into the chamber. "You may be allowed to eat every three hours. As long as you do not show any signs of ill will toward yourself or others, we should not have any further issues."

Dib walked over to a metal slab protruding from the wall of his little holding cell and sat down. He leaned his head back and sighed loudly. "I've only been in here for 30 seconds and I'm already bored."

Zim smirked, amused. "Well, Dib-beast, you had better get comfortable. You will most likely be in there for a while."

"You haven't answered my question. How long am I staying in here?"

"You will remain here until I figure out what to do with you. I need to help you get better. You are sick."

Dib turned on the TV. "Zim, did you ever stop to think that I like the way I am right now? I'm not afraid of anything anymore, like I used to be. I'm free of the burdens of guilt, and I don't ever wanna go back to how I was."

Zim stared at him for a while, thinking of a response. Finally, he said, "I think that some part of you still wants to die. I can tell by your body language and your facial expressions. They do not lie," He reached into a pocket on his uniform and brought out Dib's knife that he had taken during their fight earlier, shoving it through the gap in the door. "Well, if you want to die so badly, why don't you just do it already, you stupid human!"

Though he tried to show no emotion, a part of Dib was hurt by Zim's words. "Why would you say that to me? I thought you wanted to help me!"

"I did at first, but I'm tired of you sneaking out all the time, forcing me to look for you! Since you do not want my help, I will just let you kill yourself. I should have never saved you. I should have just watched you end your own life, and then celebrated afterwards. You are nothing but a burden to me! A liability. Nothing more."

Dib covered his ears as voices plagued his mind. ' _He's right. You're nothing. No one loves you, no one will care if you die. They will all be so happy. You want them to be happy, don't you? You want Zim to be happy. You have to do this. You will never be loved by anyone, never be accepted by your own race. They all despise you. You WILL do it. You don't have a choice._

Dib growled and tried to ignore the voices, but they only grew louder. ' _Do it! You know this is the only way. You will never know peace unless you do it. Your family will never be happy. They will be forever bitter, thinking of what could have been if you had just killed yourself. They would have everything they've ever wanted. You are the reason they are not happy. It's all your fault._

 _You are a waste of space, a failure. You do not belong on this Earth. You should not exist. Even Zim wants you to die. Pick up the knife, and just do it. It won't take but a second. You can do it. Everybody wants you to do it, you know they do._ _You can see it on their faces when they look at you, they think you are a disgrace. They regret not abandoning you when they had the chance. They pretend like they care, but they don't, not really. You know this is true.'_

Dib stood up and started mumbling to himself. "No, no, they won't be happy. They do care. They love me, they-"

"Dib-beast? Who are you talking to?" Zim asked, still standing there. Dib looked up and slowly returned to the real world.

"Um, nobody, Zim. Just go away. You don't care about me."

The Irken stood there a moment longer, then began walking to the elevator and went up to the house.

Finally alone, Dib stared at the wall. Then with a sigh, he picked up the knife.

 **A/N: What's this? Another cliffhanger? Gosh, I am so evil. The good news is that you hopefully won't have to wait that long for the next chapter, which is finished and ready to be published already.**


	15. Chapter 15

Zim came back down just as Dib was putting the tip of the knife against his skin, gently tracing a line down the middle of his chest and back up again, contemplating whether or not he should go through with it. The Irken ran over and slammed his hand against the window to get the human's attention.

Dib flinched, startled, the loud bang breaking his concentration. He looked up. " _What?!_ " He hissed angrily. "I'm a little _busy_ here!"

Zim narrowed his eyes. " _What_ do you think you're doing, stink-meat?" Dib looked over at the alien. "What do you mean 'what am I doing?' You said you wanted me to die, so I'm trying to make you happy." He swept his gaze over to the Irken's other hand, which was holding a strange bottle with the Irken insignia on the label. "What's that you're holding, Zim?" He asked.

"This?" Zim held up the bottle. "This is supposed to help treat your illness, or whatever else is affecting you at the moment, and causing you to behave irrationally." He set the bottle on a nearby table, turning back to Dib. "Why were you mumbling to yourself earlier?"

"I don't know. Why were you being so horrible to me?" Dib asked in return. Zim scowled. "I apologize for my earlier behavior. I was not mad at you, and you should know by now that I most certainly do not want you dead. I was angry with GIR because he ate most of my snacks. And then he… hey, wait a second! Do _not_ respond to my questions with another question, Dib-beast! You know I hate that!"

Dib looked away before he said, "Sorry. I just don't know what you want me to say, Zim. I've been feeling very sad lately. And I've been thinking about the things I've done, replaying them over and over again inside of my head. And _then_ the voices start trying to convince me to-"

"Voices?" Zim interrupted. "What voices? This is new. You've never mentioned voices before now. How long have they been whispering to you?" Dib thought back. "Well, they haven't really been _whispering_ , more like shouting. They've been with me since before I killed Torque and the others. They were very quiet at first, but then they started to get louder, harder to ignore."

Zim put a gloved hand to his chin, deep in thought for a minute or two. "Hmmm. That bottle of pills should help with that, too, I believe. I could be wrong, though. Everyone who takes them seems to react differently. Some don't show any change, some get worse, while others seem to demonstrate remarkable improvement after ingesting them. I am curious to see how they will affect you."

Dib hoped that the Irken medication didn't kill him. He wanted to do that himself. "Are there any side effects?"

Zim nodded. "A few. While our scientists were developing it, some of the test subjects became ill, some of them acquired severe headaches, bled from the eyes and mouth, and I believe a few of them… died."

Dib's mouth fell open. "They _died_?! _How_?"

"Very painfully, if you must know. Their bodies were not able to handle the drug. They were too weak. A shame, really. But there was nothing we could have done for them. They chose their fate."

Now Dib was even more worried. "Um, you know what, Zim? On second thought, I think I'll pass on the pills."

But Zim would not take no for an answer."I'm afraid that I must insist that you take them, Dib. They are the only thing that has even a chance of improving your mental state. You do not need to worry about the side effects. They are very rare."

Dib shifted his weight uncomfortably. "Don't you have anything else?"

"I do, but everything else is far too painful for you. That medicine is your only option for right now." Zim picked up the bottle and opened it, taking out a single capsule and holding it out for Dib to take. The paranormal investigator reached through the slot and grabbed it.

It was blue and pink, and looked no different than some of the pills that he had seen in pharmacies when he walked around the town sometimes.

He put it in his pocket. "I'll take it later, Zim." The Irken glared at him. "You will take it _now_ , Dib. Do I have to come in there and _force_ you to swallow it? Because I will if I have to!"

Dib sighed. "Fine. But I need some water to drink with it so it doesn't get stuck in my throat."

"I will go get some for you." The Invader went up to the kitchen. Dib waited.

Zim came back down with a glass filled with the liquid. "Here." He pushed it through the slot, almost making the glass tip over. Dib caught it before it could hit the ground and nodded his thanks to the alien before taking the pill.

"Open your mouth." Zim demanded suddenly after Dib had swallowed. The human gave him a questioning look. "Why?"

"I need to make sure that you actually took it, and aren't just trying to trick me. Now, open your mouth."

Dib did so. Zim examined it throughly, then instructed him to let him look under his tongue, which Dib also allowed. Satisfied, Zim sat back down at the table. After a few minutes, though, he began to get worried. "I do not understand. The effects are supposed to be immediate. You should be cured by now. Do you feel any different?" He asked.

Dib shook his head. He felt the same as he'd felt for the past few days. A little angry, and slightly suicidal. Zim stood up and began to pace. "Perhaps I didn't give you the correct amount." He muttered, more to himself than to Dib. He picked up the bottle again and studied the label, presumably reading the instructions, which were in Irken, of course.

Suddenly, Zim growled and threw it at the wall, the loud clang startling Dib. "I did _everything_ that it said to do! It should have worked! I don't understand, I don't _understand_! I knew I should have picked a different brand!"

"Maybe it just didn't work," Dib suggested. That only made the Irken even angrier. "No, that can't be it! I refuse to accept that! Perhaps if you took another dose…"

"I don't think that's a good idea, Zim. Maybe give it a few more minutes?"

"No, I don't think that will help. I guess it was not very effective. We will have to try something else, then. Resort to…. less pleasant solutions."

That statement frightened Dib a little. "What do you have in mind?" He asked cautiously.

Zim stared at him. "You… will not like it."

"Oh, joy. That's just what I need right now, more _tests_." Dib muttered under his breath. Zim noticed that Dib's eyes looked wild, and he seemed… different somehow, more focused, but he couldn't really pinpoint what was causing this issue. He was radiating an aura of danger, for some reason, though. The Irken could sense it.

He decided to be extra cautious around the human for now until he figured out what was wrong with him this time, just to be safe.


	16. Chapter 16

A/N: **I apologize** **in advance for the very long chapter (It's 6 pages long on Word, my longest chapter of any story I've ever written), but I just had so many ideas in my head. This chapter took me about maybe a week or two to finish. I gave it everything I had. I spent nearly all of my free time working on this one, trying to make it the best that I possibly could, and this is quite possibly my favorite chapter of Thoughts so far. I'm immensely proud of it, and I hope you enjoy it as well!**

Zim reached for the keypad that was located next to the door of the chamber so he could let Dib out to perform a few more tests. He was determined to cure Dib, no matter what it took to do it. "I'm going to let you out for a while, okay?"

"I wouldn't do that if I were you, Zim."

"Why not, Dib-stink? You want to get better, right?"

Dib smiled softly. "All I can think about right now is slitting your throat and drinking you like a fountain. You don't want that, do you?"

Zim took his hand away from the keypad, feeling conflicted. "I don't understand. You should not be feeling this way. You would only have those thoughts if the pills made you… worse."

Dib began giggling maniacally. "YES, YES, YES! Very good, very good! You _are_ a smart one, aren't you?" He slammed his body against the glass, gripping the knife and smiling from ear to ear. "Now that that's out of the way, why don't you come on in here? Let's see what you're made of now. Best two out of three. It wasn't a fair fight last time."

Zim shook his head. "That's not happening, Dib."

The human faked a sad face. "Awww, why not? Well, that's too bad, isn't it? I was really looking forward to gutting you and ripping you open, seeing what your insides looked like. Doesn't that sound like fun to you?" Zim was beginning to fear for his safety a little. Dib sounded _very_ serious, and Zim was starting to think that he would actually carry out these threats if he was released.

Dib raised the knife and started tapping it against the glass. " _Ziiiiim_. What'cha thinkin' about? Is it how I'm gonna kill you? How I'm gonna rip out that tongue of yours with nothing but my hands and shove it down your throat? Or maybe how I'll very, very slowly cut those beautiful eyes of yours out of your head and make you eat them, too?"

He cocked his head to the side. "Actually, cutting out your eyes sounds like a really good idea. I think I'll do that." He began to try and break the glass, ramming his body into it. "That will not work, Dib. The glass is too thick for you to break it." Zim said.

Dib sighed. "I figured that. I guess I'll have to try something else, then." He raised the knife and placed the tip of the blade against his stomach. "If you don't come in here right now, you're gonna have an even bigger problem on your hands." Zim wanted to run to him, to stop him from killing himself, to hold him still, wrap his arms around him, _plead_ with him.

Dib smiled and lowered the knife. "I had you going there for a second, didn't I? You are _too_ fun to mess with, Zim. But I'm still gonna escape. I don't know how, but I will. And when I do, you had better pray that I don't come after you first. Oh, the things I would do to you. Things you wouldn't even dream of doing. Horrible things. And it's all your fault. You made me this way. How will you fix this? I bet you can't. You're stuck with me forever! Well, at least until I inevitably kill you." He laughed, the sound echoing throughout the base, amplified and slightly distorted by the speakers in the container's walls.

It was a chilling sound, Zim had to admit. It made him feel nervous. "Dib, please stop acting this way! You are beginning to scare me!"

"Good! I _want_ you to be frightened. Then I know that I'm getting through to you. I'll find a way out of here. And when I do, there will be chaos! _Bloodshed_ and screams of terror! All that good stuff. I will kill whoever I get my hands on, be them men or woman, maybe even _children_! And you will not be able to stop me this time. I am gonna have such a fun time! I can't wait! I'm so excited that I feel like I might _explode_!"

Zim now realized that Dib had been transformed into a full blown sociopath, completely insane now, with no regard for human life. He held his head in his hands. _What have I done?!_

He could faintly hear Dib, still talking: "...and then, once I'm done with you, I'm gonna go after my father and Gaz, and then I'm gonna finish what I started when I killed Torque. And you will die knowing that you tried everything you could to help me, wishing you could have done more, but it just wasn't enough."

Zim removed his hands from his face and stared up at his prisoner. "I haven't tried everything yet, Dib. I still have one last thing I could try."

"Oh, really? And what might that be, exactly?"

Zim sighed. "I had hoped it wouldn't come to this, as I do not wish to cause you any pain, but in the state you are currently in, I believe pain will be of little importance to you, am I correct?" When no answer was given, he continued, "Anyway, the humans call it 'Electroconvulsive Therapy' or, as it's apparently more commonly named, 'Electro-Shock Therapy.'"

Dib giggled. "C'mon, Zim, you _can't_ be serious! You really think that will work? This will only end with your death, or _mine_! No amount of electricity pumped into my brain will change that!"

Zim narrowed his eyes. "We will see."

Dib shook his head, grinning. "No, we won't." He looked around. "I'm hungry." He said suddenly.

Zim muttered something to himself in Irken, clearly annoyed. "GIR! Make the Dib-human some food!" He said to his 'child,' who sat nearby, watching them exchange words."Okay!" The little robot responded cheerfully. While Gir went up to the house to prepare his food, Dib waited patiently while formulating a plan of escape. He had to get out of here. This place was suffocating him. He needed a permanent change of scenery.

He heard the door of a microwave opening, and the sounds of buttons being pressed. After a few minutes, the SIR unit returned with a plate full of spaghetti, handing it to Zim, who gave it to Dib, along with a fork that Gir had brought with him.

While he ate, Dib thought about how he would escape. Then he had an idea. "Gir!" He whispered to the little robot when Zim went into another part of the base to check on something. "Yeeees?" Gir asked, looking up at the human.

Dib looked in the direction Zim had gone, knowing he didn't have much time. "Do you know the code to open this door?" Gir slowly shook his head. "Mastah doesn't tell me that kind of stuff. Do you wanna help me look for pancake monsters?" Dib was confused. "What? No, I… " He growled softly to himself. The little robot was starting to frustrate him. Dib squatted down so that he was staring directly into Gir's cyan eyes.

"Listen to me very carefully. If you don't let me out r _ight now_ , I will _personally_ rip you apart piece by piece. Is that what you want?" Gir's eyes widened with shock and fright, and he ran away screaming. Dib sat back and grinned. His plan might not have worked, but at least it had been fun to get Gir riled up.

Zim came back a few moments later, and Dib knew right away from the expression on his face that Gir had informed his Master what the human had said to him. The Irken stomped over to him, cuddling a sobbing Gir, rage burning in his eyes."Let me tell you something, Dib-stink: I do not care if you threaten me or try to harm me, but _do not,_ under _any_ circumstances, threaten Gir! I will not tolerate it. He has done nothing to you, he has not harmed you in any way.

All he has done is what I've told him to do! He brings you food, provides you with nourishment, and you repay him by threatening to destroy him?! He is nothing but… _nice_ ," He struggled to get that word out. "So do not take out your frustrations on him! You have no one but yourself to blame for this. You should be grateful for what he has done for you!"

Dib scoffed. "All he did was bring me food. And it wasn't even very good, to be honest with you."

Zim ignored Dib's remark and continued ranting angrily. "Gir is not capable of hurting anyone or any _thing_. He has the mind of a human smeet, for Irk's sake! He is all I have, my only companion, my… friend, my _family_! And if you _ever_ lay even a _finger_ on _any_ part of him with the intent to do him harm, I will make sure that you never walk again! Do you understand me?!"

Dib held up his arms in pretend surrender, still smirking. "Sure, Zim, whatever you say."

Zim balled his hands into fists. "If you did not require my help at the moment, I would make you experience a kind of physical pain that you've never felt before. Consider yourself extremely lucky, Stink-monster! But know this: If you _ever_ threaten to dismantle Gir again, I will not be so lenient." He held his robot closer to him, protectively wrapping an arm around his torso, rubbing his back and offering him a chocolate chip cookie, which, with a squeal of delight, Gir happily accepted. Dib rolled his eyes at this show of affection, finding it to be a display of weakness. These kinds of emotions meant nothing to Dib. He saw no use for them, not anymore.

Zim was talking to Gir now, his voice soft and his words quiet. Dib couldn't understand what he was saying. The robot had stopped crying, and other than the occasional sniffle, was perfectly fine now. Not that Dib cared. He didn't. He just wanted to leave this place, but Zim wouldn't let him. He hated that Irken so much.

The alien stood up and went into another room, then came back out with a machine of some sort.

"Okay! Let's get started, shall we?" Zim said as he turned it on. Dib suspected that this was what was going to cure him, according to Zim.

Dib watched curiously as the alien worked. "I've been researching this particular method of treatment for a few days now, and I think I know what to do." Zim said.

"You _think_? Well, _that's_ reassuring." Dib responded sarcastically. "I really don't want to do this, Zim."

"Too bad!" The Irken snapped. "I didn't want to do this either, but then you had to threaten to destroy Gir, and now I have no choice but to go through with it. I am sure you'll be just fine." He began walking toward Dib in order to begin the procedure, but the human quickly picked up his knife and prepared himself. "If you come in here I swear to God I _will_ stab you again!"

Zim stopped at the window. "Dib, you need this so you can get better! Please! I promise to be careful. It will be over before you know it. I do not enjoy seeing you this way! But, if you do happen to experience any pain, consider it your punishment for what you said to Gir."

Dib rolled his eyes. "Fine. Anyway, I happen to like being this way! I feel better about myself now, more confident, braver. I don't really care about anything anymore, though. But that also has it's advantages, I suppose. And in case you forgot already, I still want to kill you and destroy everything you care about."

"Yes, I am well aware of that, Dib. You made that perfectly clear a few minutes ago. I have not forgotten." Zim continued fiddling with the machine, quietly muttering to himself about inferior human devices and how difficult they were to operate.

Dib was certain that Zim would change his mind at the last second, like he sometimes does, and decide not to do this, to find a different solution. But as more and more time passed without him doing so, Dib began to worry. He wanted to be normal again, he really did, but for some reason his brain would not let him. His mind was a constant stream of murderous thoughts, things he should not be thinking about.

He should be thinking about aliens, about his paranormal studies, finding Bigfoot, gathering evidence of Zim's existence, watching Mysterious Mysteries, proving to everybody that he really wasn't crazy like everyone thought he was. Those kinds of things. Not _this_!

Gir was back to being his normal self now, Zim apparently having comforted him earlier when they were talking to each other. Dib sighed to himself. He wished he could feel loved, like Gir most likely was. But Dib knew that no one loved him, knew that no one even liked him. It made him angry, sad and confused all at once. He just wanted to meet someone like him, someone who he could relate to.

But he had accepted long ago that everyone would always hate him, always think of him as a freak, crazy, insane. He would never have any friends. No one would ever care about him the way he wanted. He would live his life alone, being lonely and miserable until he died.

He didn't want that. No one did. He wanted to be happy, to have a life worth living. To be appreciated by someone, _anyone_. He didn't care who it was. Without hope, what's the point of living? He had no hope anymore. He hadn't for a long time. His life was meaningless. He had no purpose here. He stared at the knife in his hand, the light glinting off of the blade. He examined the scars that had formed after Zim had stopped him from killing himself all those months ago.

He giggled to himself and shook his head to clear away those memories. Zim had been foolish to do that, to stop him. He had only prolonged the inevitable. Dib _will_ kill himself, it was only a matter of preparation, planning, and patience. He could wait as long as necessary. He would make Zim think that he had moved past it, wasn't having suicidal thoughts anymore. And when he truly believed it, Dib would prove him wrong.

Zim could be easily tricked, he thought. This would be easy to pull off. As soon as the Irken trusted him again, enough to let his guard down ever so slightly, the human would off himself. He deserves it, anyway. For all the things he had done. He deserved to die. He knew with all of his heart that he did.

He wouldn't let anyone convince him otherwise. Not even Zim. No one. No matter how much they begged and pleaded with him not to, he would know that they didn't mean what they said, that they all want him to do this. He was nothing to them. They would all be happier if he was gone.

His hands shook slightly. He slowly raised his hand and placed the knife against his wrist, like last time. But he would be successful this time around, he was sure if it. He had to be.

The voices were silent now, but he could still feel them, they were still there. Always with him.

He slowly started cutting into his skin, pressing harder with each stroke. Blood was soon trickling down his hand, creating a small puddle on the ground near him, getting on his clothes, staining them. He gasped quietly in pain, trying not to be too loud. He didn't want Zim to hear him and see him doing this.

Too late. Zim turned and faced him. His expression was shocked at first, then angry. He ran over and quickly put in the code to open the door, then he rushed in and forcefully snatched the weapon from Dib's hands and threw it into the base. "I should have never given this back to you! Why did I do that? I'm so _stupid_!" He ranted to himself while he wrapped up Dib's wrist with some gauze.

Dib rolled his eyes. "Come on, Zim, don't pretend like you care. You want me to do this."

Zim stared at him for a second, before smacking him hard across the face. So hard that Zim's claws poked through his gloves and scratched Dib's face, drawing blood. "Do not EVER let me hear you speak those words in my presence again, Dib-stink!" He hissed. "I _do_ care. If I did not, I wouldn't go through all of this trouble to help you!"

Dib reached up and felt the blood dripping down his cheek. "No, you're lying! You're lying! You're _always lying_!"

"I am not lying, Dib. I speak the truth! Listen to me! You need to understand that I do care for you! I do not want you to kill yourself. I would be nothing without you. You know that!"

"If you won't let me kill myself, then you do it! Please. I'm begging you, please kill me! I can't take this anymore! Just end it!" He was crying now, fresh tears streaming down his face.

Zim shifted his weight, not knowing what to say. "Dib... you know I can't do that. I _won't_ do that."

Dib started to cry harder. "No, no, NO! You have to kill me! You just have to! You don't know how this feels. I'm in so much pain. It would be better if you killed me. You would be doing me a huge favor. _Please!"_

Zim knelt down and wiped the tears from Dib's eyes. "Shhhh. It's gonna be alright. These feelings you are having will eventually fade, I promise you! Just hold on for a little while longer, okay?"

"I...I _can't!"_

"Yes, you can, Dib! Look at me." Dib looked up to meet the Irken's gaze. "You have to fight this! Don't ever give in to the impulse, don't let your voices win. I can't lose you. If you die, I will kill myself. And I don't want that. Do you?"

Dib shrugged. He didn't really know what he wanted right now. "I guess not. But I'm kind of in a dark place right now. I'm kind of a mess. So I guess it doesn't matter. Nothing matters anymore."

Zim put a hand on his shoulder. "Don't think like that. It's not true. You matter. I matter. We all matter. We all have a purpose."

Dib shook his head sadly. "No. Not me. I have no purpose. I never will. Sometimes I wonder why I even exist. I wish I didn't. So just let me die."

Zim gently stroked the human's cheek, trying to soothe him. "I won't ever do that, Dib. I won't let you die without a fight. You deserve to live. It will get better."

Dib began muttering to himself. "It's not true, it's not true. He's lying. He has to be! It doesn't make sense, it doesn't make _sense_!" Zim wrapped his arms around the human, trying hard to be comforting, to reassure him. "I do care, I do care!" He kept repeating to him. "Don't do this! I still have to show you the rest of the galaxies I've visited."

He thought a moment. "You know what, Dib? I don't think shock therapy is good for you. How about I take you somewhere instead? You want to see them, don't you? The stars, the planets?"

Dib nodded. Zim sighed in relief and smiled. "Good. Stay there. I will be right back." He left the room and came back a moment later with some handcuffs. "I must put these on you, Dib. For your own protection. I hope you understand. I will remove them once I am satisfied that you can behave normally without them." He put them around the human's wrists, locking them into place behind his back.

Dib said not a word. He remained silent, deep in thought. Zim led him out of the chamber and into the base. He guided him to his ship and ushered him inside. They had some galaxies to visit.

 **A/N: I wanted to make another author's note to tell you all that this is a vent fic, in case you haven't already figured that out. Some of Dib's thoughts are actually my thoughts. Part of me feels how he feels right now.**

 **I'm really sad. I won't go into why, but hopefully it passes soon. I used to feel suicidal. I even tried to kill myself a few times, and I'm beginning to have the very same thoughts that Dib is having agian.**

 **I'm not sure why I'm telling you all of this, but I guess I just have to vent. I'll just wait for these feelings to pass, and hopefully then I'll feel fine for a little while. But not for long. I may be depressed, I'm not sure.**

 **See you all in the next update.**


	17. Chapter 17

Zim got out a napkin, wiping the blood off of Dib's face, apologizing for lashing out like that. He then climbed back into the pilot's seat and started up the Voot, skillfully piloting it out of the base and into the air. He would occasionally glance back at Dib, who stared out the window, still silent, to ensure that he was okay and hadn't tried to harm himself again.

They exited Earth's atmosphere and entered the blackness and emptiness of space. The stars shone brightly tonight, brighter than usual somehow, and gave Dib a sense of comfort and safety. "Are you alright, Dib?" Zim asked from the pilot's seat, turning around to face his human passenger.

The paranormal investigator glanced at the Irken, noting the genuine concern in the alien's eyes. Dib nodded and went back to staring out the window, admiring the stars.

Zim continued focusing on piloting the ship, until after a few minutes Dib spoke up. "Where are we going?" He asked quietly, so quietly that Zim could barely hear him. "What did you say?" Dib repeated his question, a little louder this time.

"Oh. We are going to the Vorlex galaxy, to the planet Vorlexia. I don't think I've shown it to you yet. It's one of my favorite places to visit. They have really good food there, as well. We should be arriving in a few minutes."

Zim hoped that Dib wasn't planning to do anything malicious or horrific. He just wanted him to have a good time exploring the unknown. He knew this had been Dib's dream. He wanted to help Dib forget about everything that had happened for a few days, and he was determined to do just that.

"Dib, I want you to listen to me, OK? Don't do anything stupid once we get there. It will only draw attention to ourselves, and like I said a few days ago, that's the last thing I need right now. Understand?" Dib nodded. "Yeah. I understand."

"Good." When they got to their destination, Zim parked the Voot in a strange-looking parking area, taking off Dib's handcuffs and putting them in a pocket in his uniform, not wanting to draw attention to him, and got out, helping Dib out of his seat. An alien that Dib had never seen before approached them. "Welcome to Vorlexia! We hope you enjoy your time here!" Zim brushed past the creature, muttering something under his breath. Dib was pretty sure that it was something offensive. They continued onward, exploring the planet.

He marveled at the sights and sounds. This planet was beautiful! He could smell some type of food that made his mouth water. He stopped Zim and asked if they could eat something. The Irken shrugged. "I guess so. I'm starting to feel hungry, too. Where would you like to eat?" Dib pointed to the building where the intoxicating smells were originating from.

Zim smiled. "Ah, yes! That is one of my favorite restaurants. A wise choice, Dib-beast." They entered.

After they had ordered their food and were waiting for it to arrive, they found a table to sit at and they talked about the things they could do here. "There are quite a few activities on this planet, but I mostly just come here to occupy their restaurants and eat all of their food." Zim said, laughing lightly.

Dib noticed that Zim seemed… happier here. More relaxed. He was even cracking jokes. He never did that. He smiled a lot more than when he was on Earth. He wasn't as stressed. Maybe it was because he wasn't constantly trying to take over Earth now. That had to be very stressful, to work so hard on a plan, only for it to fail time and time again.

Zim deserved a break every once in a while. An escape from the troubles that life brings. Dib was happy if Zim was happy. Or at least, he tried to be. Dib was definitely having fun, exploring this planet, but he still felt empty inside. Like an ache that he just couldn't soothe. He didn't know how to fill that space.

As Dib and Zim were talking, a gray-skinned native sauntered up to them with a sneer in his face. "We don't like Irkens around here." It growled.

Zim stood up, sensing a challenge. "I respectfully suggest that you walk away right now and leave us be, or you will not like what I do to you."

The Vorlexian laughed. "Oh, yeah? And what will you do?"

A metallic leg protruded from Zim's PAK. "Last warning, Vorlexian scum! Leave us!"

The humanoid smiled, showing rotting, disfigured teeth. "You're bluffing. You won't do anything!"

"Really? Are you sure about that?" Zim asked confidently. Dib spotted a utensil that resembled a fork on the table next to theirs. He reached over and quickly grabbed it, arming himself just in case they had to fight.

Zim was struggling to remain calm. "Please. Just leave us alone. I do not want to fight you!"

Dib tensed, tightening his grip on his weapon, hiding it behind his back so it wouldn't be seen by their tormentor. The Vorlexian continued badgering them, not seeming to get the hint. Dib could tell that Zim was about to snap, and he knew from experience that when Zim lost it, he usually went full psycho mode. It would not be a pretty scene.

Dib placed a hand on his shoulder, trying to calm him, but Zim only slapped his hand away, shoving the human away from him with a low growl. The force of the push sent Dib slamming hard against the concrete wall, his head hitting it even harder. He saw stars for a moment, and pain blossomed from his body.

Zim turned back to the native, a crazed look in his eyes. Dib blinked away the stars that were obscuring his vision, running over to them as he began to approach the Vorlexian from behind. He raised the fork. Zim saw him, his eyes widening. He shook his head no, silently telling the human not to do it.

Dib shrugged at him and stabbed the Vorlexian in the shoulder. The humanoid screamed, causing every being in the restaurant to turn their eyes toward the source of the noise. Zim took advantage of the distraction and hurriedly grabbed Dib's arm and ran off with him out of the building and into the crowded street.

Once they were far enough away, Zim ducked into an alleyway and forcefully spun Dib around so they were facing each other. It was starting to get dark out, and it was getting hard for Dib to see because of the rapidly fading light, but the Irken was obviously fuming, that much he could tell.

Zim said nothing for almost a full minute, just standing there, staring daggers at Dib and breathing heavily from running so long. His mouth curled into a sneer, then he wound his arm back and struck the human across the face for the second time that day. "I'm not apologizing for hitting you this time. You deserved that." Zim snarled. "I told you to not attract any attention, and what do you go and do? You do the exact opposite of what I said! You disappoint me, Dib-worm!"

Dib tried to quell his rising anger. "What are you talking about?! You were about to hurt that guy, too! I was only protecting you!"

Zim narrowed his eyes. "I did not, nor will I ever, request your protection, Dib-beast! I am more than capable of taking care of myself, as you have seen numerous times." Dib threw up his arms, exasperated. "I know you can, but that's not the point, Zim! The point is that I'm-"

Zim held up a gloved hand. "I do not care, Dib." He interrupted. "You disobeyed me!"

"So? I disobey you all the time! Why is this time any different?"

Zim sighed. "Because…" He put a hand on his chin, thinking. "Actually, I don't know why. But you should start listening to me more! It would do you a whole lot of good if you did!"

"Okay, sure. Whatever." Dib replied dismissively. He put a hand on his stomach. "I'm still hungry. We never got to eat our food at that restaurant."

Zim reached into his PAK and retrieved a ration bar, handing it to Dib. "There. Eat that."

The human examined it quizzically. "What the heck is this supposed to be?"

"It's food, Dib-stink! Now eat it before I take it back from you!" Zim replied, annoyed by the human's questions.

"Is it safe for me to eat? It's not gonna do anything to me, is it?"

Zim groaned. "I assure you, it's perfectly safe! Now just EAT IT!" Dib reluctantly did so, taking a small bite and chewing on it slowly. He nodded. "It's… good. Delicious, actually." He ate the whole ration bar in a few bites. It wasn't very much food, but it was somehow very filling for Dib.

He didn't know how that was possible for such a small morsel of a meal, and he made a mental note to ask Zim about it at a later time. He was just glad that he was full now. He finished eating. "What should we do now?" He asked.

"Well, we can't stay here anymore, not after what you just did to that other alien! We need to go somewhere else now, to a different planet."

"Do we have to? I mean, this place is pretty great, don't you think?"

Zim glared at him. "Seriously, Dib? This planet is anything but great! Let's go, we're leaving!"

"Where to?" Dib asked.

"I don't know, anywhere but here! The Vorlexian authorities will find you if we stay on this planet, Dib! We have to leave now!"

"Okay, fine. We'll go. But first, you need to promise me something."

Zim stopped walking toward the ship and looked back at him. "Of course, Dib-beast. What is your request?"

"You need to promise me that if I try to hurt anyone else, to kill anyone else, that you'll stop me. That you won't let me go through with it." He sighed, preparing himself to say what he needed to say. "I want you to promise me that if I do that, you'll kill me."

Zim was speechless for a moment. When he spoke, his voice was tinged with sadness. "Dib, I told you, I won't promise that. I will never promise that! Not ever!"

Dib looked down at the ground, shuffling his feet around, kicking up gravel. "Okay. Then what will you do?"

"I don't know. I'll figure it out."

"I'm sure you will. You always do." Dib was only saddened by Zim's refusal to make that promise. He was not angry. He was just getting tired of living. It has brought nothing but pain for him. Nothing but misery and dread.

"You don't understand how I feel, Zim. Not really. I deserve to be punished for the things I've done. I need to know that there will be consequences for me. I don't want to hurt anyone else."

Zim offered him a small smile, a knowing one. "I know you don't, Dib." His voice was soft, gentle. "But whenever you think about suicide in the future, just remember that you can talk to me about it if you choose to. Or, you can keep it to yourself until it builds up inside of you, until eventually you won't be able to take the guilt anymore, and you'll give in to your delusional thoughts and end your own life. It's your choice.

But I want you to know that there is always a reason to keep living, you just have to find out what that reason is. And that I'll always be here for you when you truly need me. Everything will be okay, Dib-stink. You'll get through this, I promise."

He embraced the human in a tight hug, and after a moment Dib returned the gesture. They stood there for a minute or two, just holding each other, until Zim pulled away and looked up at Dib. "Are you ready to leave now?" He asked softly.

Dib nodded. He got into the ship with Zim, and in no time at all they were back in space, searching for a new planet to explore.


	18. Chapter 18

"Zim, I need to ask you something." Dib said once they were safely in the ship and had entered space once again.

"Of course. What is your question, Dib-beast?" Zim asked, briefly turning around to glance at the human before focusing on flying the ship.

"What would you do in my situation? I mean, if you were depressed and suicidal? What would you do?"

"That's easy. I wouldn't let it bother me, and I most _certainly_ would not give up on life just because I'm feeling a little _sad_! I would push onward, and try not to think about it. I'm too amazing to let my emotions get the better of me."

Dib sat back against his seat and sighed. "I see. Have you ever thought about killing yourself?"

Zim had to think about that. "A few times." He responded slowly. He put the ship on autopilot, climbing into the backseat to sit next to Dib. "After I murdered that other Irken, the one that My Tallest instructed me to kill to prove my loyalty, I behaved the very same way that you are right now. I began to think the same way. I do not think that anyone noticed my desolation, or if they did, that they just didn't care. I started to realize that I was… disliked among my peers. I was useless. I was nothing. Only good for a laugh or two, at best. I was a joke, a _defective_!" He spat out that last word angrily, as if he himself couldn't believe it.

Taking a deep breath, Zim composed himself and continued telling his story. "I was ridiculed because I was different, because I wasn't what they wanted me to be. Therefore, I resolved to better myself. To prove to my kind that I was _not_ useless, that I _could_ accomplish great things. So, I doubled my efforts to conquer Earth. But soon after, realization struck me: My Tallest didn't care about invading the planet. They had just wanted to get rid of me. This was confirmed a few days later. They called me to let me know that it was all a lie. The mission, my Invader status, everything.

They said that if I wanted to really make them proud, to truly do good for the Irken Empire, that I needed to… kill myself. My final task. Then they said that they never wanted to hear from me ever again. Their words only deepened my depressive state, only made it worse. But I ignored it. I convinced myself that My Tallest were only joking, that they would call me back any day now and take it all back, and that perhaps they would even apologize for what they said.

So I waited. Days passed, then weeks, and then months. They never called back. I kept telling myself that they were very busy preparing for Impending Doom II, that they hadn't forgotten about me and would call me as soon as they had the time. But as it was approaching a whole Earth year with no communication between me and my Tallest, I finally accepted that what they said was the truth. I began to blame myself. I had failed them. I had failed my entire race. I was no good.

But I would not, could not, kill myself. So I drowned myself in my schemes to take over Earth. It was all I had. Well, that and Gir, of course. His presence was of little comfort to me, however, even though he tried his best to provide me with as many distractions as possible. But I was nothing if not persistent. I was determined to show the rest of my fellow Invaders and My Tallest that I was of value to them, that I was worth something. I am still to this day striving to achieve that goal."

Dib sat there, silently listening to Zim's tale, nodding his head every now and then to show that the Irken had his full attention. Zim was silent for a moment, apparently trying to figure out how to word his next few sentences carefully.

"So, don't you _ever_ think that I do not know what you are going through, Dib-worm. I know those feelings all too well. They eventually faded for me, and they will do the same for you. If I can overcome it, you can, too. It just takes time. Be strong. Do not let it show, shove it down deep inside of yourself. Don't let it consume you, do not allow it swallow you up, for if you let it, then sadness and guilt will be all that you know. Do you understand what I am trying to say, Dib?"

Dib looked down at his feet, then looked back up at Zim and nodded, feeling guilty for some reason. The Irken was very good at storytelling and at giving advice, especially when it came to serious matters such as this. "How do you deal with it now, when those feelings come back?"

"Well, some days are worse than others. I could be very elated one day, and then very sad the next. It varies. But I have learned to make the best of it. You should, too."

"But I don't know how to find the positive in all of this, Zim."

"I just told you how. Please, take my advice. It will help you."

Dib averted his gaze to stare out the window again, watching the stars and planets as they zoomed past them. He thought about what Zim had said. He supposed that Zim was correct about keeping it all inside. He had experienced this. He usually knew what he was talking about. Most of the time, at least.

"How long do you think it will last for me?" He asked, trying not to let his sadness show too much, to conceal it and shove it down deep inside of himself, like Zim had suggested. It _did_ help, but not very much. He would simply have to try and make do with it until he found a better way to cope.

Zim sighed, shaking his head. "I do not know. It is different for everyone, I think. But for you, I suppose, it may last for a while."

That statement scared Dib slightly. He didn't want to feel this way anymore. He wanted to be happy for once. But Zim had lived with his depression for almost a whole year, and Dib hadn't even noticed that anything was truly wrong with him until the Irken had told him about it just now.

Zim noticed Dib's fear and unease, and attempted to console him, putting a hand on his arm. "I know this is a difficult time for you right now, Dib, but just remember that everything will be alright. I know it doesn't seem that way right now, but it's true. I'll be with you until the end, if necessary. I will not abandon you. You will always be safe with me. And we will eventually find a cure for your... _situation_ , and then everything will hopefully return to normalcy, or close to it, at least."

That statement soothed Dib, made him feel better about himself, if only for a moment. But then he thought of something. "Wait a minute. What about Gaz and my father? What will they think of me once they learn about what I've done? How will they react?"

" _If_ we return to Earth, and that is a BIG If, considering the things you have done, we will just not tell them about this." Zim replied. "We will keep your past misdeeds between us for now. OK?"

"Ok, Zim. I guess we could do that. But what if they ever find out? What will I do then?"

The Irken shrugged, at a loss. "I am not sure. If that situation ever occurs, then I will find some way to resolve it. I would possibly have to invent something in order to wipe their memories, or I may need to eliminate them if that fails to work."

"You mean you might have to _kill_ them?! I don't want you to do that!"

"You most likely do not need to worry about that happening, as I am certain that I would be successful at erasing whatever they had learned."

"Ok. I trust you, Zim." Dib muttered, suddenly feeling very tired. The days events had finally caught up with him. He rested his head against the window of the Voot, the cool glass comforting him somewhat. He kept telling himself that Zim would fix everything, make it all better. But he didn't believe it.

Zim glanced over at him, hearing his tired sigh. "What is the matter, Dib-beast? Are you feeling well?"

"I'm fine, thanks. I'm just tired is all. Is it okay if I sleep for a while?"

Zim climbed back into the pilot's seat, turning off the autopilot and resuming control of the ship. "I suppose so. Alright, Dib, you may rest for a while. I will be sure to wake you if I find a new planet for us to visit."

Dib muttered his gratitude and leaned against the window, closing his eyes. In no time at all, he was asleep.

Zim glanced back at the human, smiling at how calm and peaceful he seemed. He wished that he could feel that way all the time. But he had been taught from an early age to conceal his emotions when in the presence of an enemy, and to especially never, ever form a bond with or to trust the enemy. They would only betray you. He had been taught to be selfish, to only look out for himself, and no one else.

But despite Dib's previous attempts on his own life and Zim's, the Irken had come to realize that he _did_ care about and trust the human. More than he's ever cared about anything or anyone else, besides Gir. He only wanted to help Dib. He now came to realize that he had no desire to conquer the Earth anymore. He hadn't thought about it since he found out about Dib's suicide attempts.

He had been thinking this over for about half an hour when Dib suddenly awoke, quietly whispering to himself. Arguing with his voices again, Zim assumed. The pills that he gave to Dib the day before must have only made them worse. Another reason to never use those drugs again. But the pill seemed to have worn off rather quickly, which was good. Zim was glad that they hadn't lasted long in Dib's system.

The Irken tried to hear what Dib was saying. He could only catch bits and pieces of his one-sided conversation: "…kill them… they know that… I have to tell… care about… you can't…"

He decided to intervene. "Is it the voices again?"

The human looked up, startled. He cleared his throat nervously. "Um, yeah, it is. They won't leave me alone anymore. They talk to me constantly now. I've tried to ignore them, but they just won't stop."

Zim sighed. "I'm not sure what to do about that, Dib-worm. I thought that the pill would have helped with that, but it clearly did not. When I have the time, I will attempt to fix that problem. At the moment, however, we are fast approaching the planet Malaysia."

He began to enter the planet's orbit, but stopped when he saw wanted signs circling it. Dib and Zim's images were on them, and 'WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER' flashed across the screens. The Irken's breathing came out in quiet gasps, as he began to hyperventilate and sweat. He glanced back at Dib, who was calmly staring at the signs with a smile on his face, not seeming the slightest bit worried. As a matter of fact, he seemed to be proud of this. _He must be enjoying the attention_ Zim thought. He had a strong desire to yell at him now, to make him see that this _wasn't_ okay, that this was actually a _very_ bad thing.

But he also knew that it would be difficult to get him to see it that way. There would be no getting through to him right now. So Zim turned the Voot around, heading in the opposite direction. "Hey!" Dib protested. "What are you doing, Zim?"

"I have decided that we must return to Earth. It is the safest place for us to be at the moment, and I don't think anyone is looking for us there."

"But I wanted to go closer to the signs!" Dib pouted. "I wanna see what the reward is for our capture!"

"There IS no reward, Dib! Don't you get that?! The whole galaxy is looking for us! They want our corpses! They want to _kill_ us! Do you not realize how much trouble we are in right now?!"

"I know I should be afraid for my life right now, but I'm not. I'm just curious about it. Do they know what our ship looks like? Do they know that we're here? Have they got any-"

"SHUT UP, DIB-BEAST!" Zim screamed, the human's constant questions grating to him. "I don't think that you understand the severity of our situation! I need to concentrate!"

"What's there to think about? We just need to go somewhere else. It's really not that hard to know what to do here."

"It is a lot more complicated than that." Zim muttered. "We will need to formulate another plan. But first, we're going to go back to Earth and stay there for a few weeks while we sort this all out."

"NOOOOO! I don't _wanna_ go back! I wanna have some more fun out here!" Dib exclaimed angrily.

"Well, that _was_ the plan, until you ruined it when you stabbed that Vorlexian!" He was sneering now. "This is _your_ fault! Everything that's gone wrong up to this point has been because of _you_! My life would be so much better without you in it!" Zim hissed.

Dib's voices grew louder. ' _Now do you see?_ ' They whispered. ' _Now do you finally understand? We told you that he doesn't care. No one does. No one ever will. You mean nothing to no one. We know what's best for you. You need to kill yourself as soon as possible. There is nothing for you here, there never will be. You know this. Zim hates you. He will always hate you, just like everybody else you know._

 _Listen to us! Do as we say! We know what you need, you need to die. Your death is the answer to everyone's problems. Your death will make everything right. It will fix everything. You know it will. So, we need you to do everyone one last favor and just die.'_

This time, Dib listened to his voices. He looked under his seat for a weapon that he could use to commit suicide with, but found nothing. This ship was as clean as Zim's house.

Zim noticed this action and narrowed his eyes. "What are you looking for?"

"I need a weapon, Zim. You wouldn't happen to have one on your person, would you?"

Zim quickly realized Dib's plan. "No, not at the moment. And you're not killing yourself anytime soon. I will always stop you. There are no weapons on this ship, anyway. So you'd better get used to living."

"Living sucks. I don't _want_ to live anymore." Dib responded calmly. "I know you have a weapon on you. Give it to me."

"I have no weapons, Dib-monster."

"Yes, you do. You always have _some_ kind of weapon on you. And you've got your PAK legs and your PAK lasers. Just use those to kill me. Please."

"I will not give in to your demands." Zim refused. "You do not mean what you are saying."

"Yes, I do, Zim. I know what you really think of me."

"You do, huh? And what do you know?"

"I know that you hate me. I know that you always have, and you always will. I know that my voices were right all along. You lied to me. You manipulated me. You made me think that you cared about me, but you never did, and you still don't. I know that you see me as just another failed experiment."

Zim smiled. "Those were all _very_ good observations, Dib-stink, but unfortunately for you, they are all incorrect. You've deluded yourself into thinking that way."

"I know that it's the truth, Zim."

The Irken shook his head. "No, it's all lies. I do not think of you as an experiment. You are nothing but a friend to me."

"I'm not your friend, Zim." Dib replied softly. "I'm going to kill you one day. Does that sound like something a friend would do?"

Zim didn't know how to respond to that, so he just decided to keep silent.

Dib answered for him. "No, it doesn't. I don't even know why you keep trying to fix me. Even my father would have given up curing me at this point. I'm a lost cause. There's nothing that you can do for me anymore."

"That's not true, Dib. There's always something new that I could try. I won't give up until you are mentally stable."

"Well, in that case, you're going to be working for a _long_ time."

"Why is that?" Zim asked curiously.

"Because I think that this is permanent for me. I don't think that you _can_ fix me now, no matter what you try to do." Dib smiled. "Don't worry too much, though. After I kill you, I plan on killing myself soon after. It will all work out in the end. You just have to have faith."

"Have _faith_?! Have FAITH?!" Zim ranted. "In what, _you_? You expect me to just let you _kill_ me? After I've made it clear to you in our numerous battles back on Earth that I will _never_ let _anyone_ kill me without a fight?! I was holding back then, you know. I could have killed you so many times, but I let you live. If I had not gone easy on you, you would have been dead in under 30 seconds. I only spared you out of respect. Remember that the next time you think about trying to kill me."

Their conversation over, Zim flew the Voot toward Earth, increasing their speed to get there faster. They were kind of Wanted at the moment, and Zim wanted to get back to his base as quickly as possible.

 **A/N: It's a weird place to end it, I know. I'm sorry for that, but it was starting to get too long. This is another chapter that I'm proud of. I didn't like it at first, but as I wrote more I started to think that I was doing a pretty good job on it. We are nearing the end of this story. Shouldn't be much longer. I shall try my hardest to make the remaining chapters even better. Anyway, I should go to sleep now. It's a little past 1 am right now. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter.**


	19. Chapter 19

Planet Earth loomed below them, a welcoming sight for Zim. Though he hated the planet, as well as its inhabitants, he had to admit to himself that it had grown on him over the years. Dib sat in the backseat of the Voot, muttering angrily to himself. He was not happy that his fun had been ruined.

"We will be landing momentarily." Zim informed the young human. "On a more positive note, I have decided to allow you to visit your family for a while. Does that please you, Dib-beast?"

"I don't know. I guess, sure." Dib mumbled. Zim landed the Voot by his base. They got out and Zim waved Dib away. "You may go see your family now, Dib."

The paranormal investigator began walking towards his house, thinking about what Gaz and his father would say. Were they worried about him? He doubted it. _I bet they didn't even know I was gone for almost three months._

He walked up to the front door, hesitating as he thought about going inside. He took a deep breath, and entered. Gaz was on the couch, playing on her GameSlave as usual, and there was a bowl of popcorn in her lap. She looked up as her brother walked in. "Hey." She said through a mouthful of popcorn. "Where have you been?"

"I was staying with Zim for a while. We had some problems that we needed to try and fix. Did you miss me?"

Gaz shook her head. "No, I didn't. I actually enjoyed the peace and quiet. It's better without you constantly bugging me with your obsession about the paranormal."

Dib's face fell. He had been afraid that she'd say that."Oh. Okay. Where's Dad?"

Gaz pointed to the basement, not looking up from her game. "He's down in his lab working on something. Go away now. I've almost beat this game and I don't want you distracting me."

Dib faked a smile. "Sure. Sorry." He headed towards the basement. He hoped his father would be happy to see him, or at least be able to acknowledge his absence. He was usually so absorbed in his work that he failed to notice the world around him. It angered Dib sometimes. He wanted a dad that paid attention to him, who wanted to willingly spend time with him.

All he had was his own mind to occupy himself. And Zim, of course. He would always have Zim to talk to if he really needed it. But he usually kept his thoughts and plans to himself, because if he had learned one thing from his years of torment at the hands of his former classmates, it was to never trust anyone with his secrets. He was better off keeping them to himself.

He walked down the stairs, hearing his dad tinkering with an invention of some kind. He was always working, never having any time to spend with his own children. He usually just left Dib and Gaz to fend for themselves.

"Dad? I'm back." Dib said as his feet made contact with the basement floor. Professor Membrane flinched and dropped whatever he was holding in his hands. He whirled around to face Dib. "Son, what have I told you about coming down here while I'm working?" He sighed and picked up the object off the floor, inspecting it for any damage. "You're lucky this didn't break."

"Did you even notice that I was gone?" Dib asked. Membrane kept his eyes on his project as he replied, "Yes, I did, but I just assumed that you were off chasing Bigfoot or searching for vampires again."

"For three _months_?! C'mon, Dad, do you _really_ think that I would _ever_ go out hunting for that long without finding some way to contact you or Gaz?"

Membrane shrugged. "I don't know, son. Sometimes it's impossible to understand what goes on inside that insane head of yours. Now if you don't mind, I'm very busy at the moment. Please go someplace else until I am finished."

Dib held back a growl and stomped back upstairs. He knew he shouldn't have come back here. He _hated_ it here. _If they won't be bothered to acknowledge my existence, then I'll make them notice me._

He went into the hallway and grabbed a picture off the wall, taking it to his room. He shut and locked his bedroom door, then began smashing the picture frame. Once that was done, he began searching for the longest, sharpest shard of glass that he could find. There were too many to choose from, so he just grabbed a few pieces and put them in his pocket, and then he headed downstairs.

He went up to Gaz and brought out an especially sharp piece, purposely cutting his hand to test it. Deciding that this would be the one that would kill him, he attempted to get his sister's attention. "Hey, Gaz?" He asked innocently.

Gaz sighed and looked up at him, pausing her game. "What do you want now, Dib? I told you not to bother me."

"I know, but I just need to get your opinion on something really quick. It won't take long at all."

Gaz rolled her eyes and put down her game. "Fine, but make it quick."

Dib held up the shard of glass. "What would you do if I swallowed this? How would you feel?"

His sister shrugged. "I wouldn't do anything. I wouldn't care. I'd feel indifferent. Does that answer your question?" She went back to her GameSlave, and Dib knew that meant the conversation was over.

He went back up to his room and cleaned up the shattered picture frame and dumped it in the trash can that he kept in his room. Then, Dib went to his bed and lay down, trying to think. It was difficult, though. It felt like there was a fog over his mind, like it was clouded with self-doubt and sadness. All he could think about was finding some way to kill himself. It was almost impossible to think of anything else, no matter how hard Zim tried to cheer him up and help him see the joys of life.

But Zim's joy stemmed from destruction and mayhem, and not to mention all of the humans he had most likely killed since his arrival, wether it be accidental or on purpose. Dib could only imagine how high that number was. Most definitely the Irken's kill streak was in the double digits by now, it could even be in the hundreds for all he knew. He decided to ask him about it later.

For now though, he had to deal with his dad and Gaz. It was Friday, and Zim had only allowed Dib to stay with them until the weekend was over, at which point he would have to return to Zim's place so the Invader could continue trying to help him.

He glanced at the digital clock on his bedside table. It was 5:30 in the afternoon, which meant that dinner would be ready soon. That was another thing Dib hated about being here: the food. It was never very good, but at least it was edible. The food that Zim and Gir bought was way better, that was for sure.

But he never complained about it, he always just pretended that he liked whatever his dad made him, and then after he had finished eating, he would sometimes go out and buy some food that he actually liked to eat, like spaghetti and garlic bread, pizza, stuff like that. He would always cook his food when he was alone in the house for extended periods of time, because he didn't want to upset his dad in case he ever found out that his son didn't like his meals. Dib doubted it would, though.

But he didn't need to worry about those kinds of things anymore.

With a sigh, Dib rose from his bed and calmly went to the front door and opened it, walking outside, back to Zim's base. He decided that he would play the alien's game, for now, if it would satisfy him. All Dib wanted was to be acknowledged as the genius that he knew he was, instead of being automatically labeled as 'crazy' and 'insane.' He was probably perfectly sane. Probably. Or, he used to be, at least.

Now, he knew that he was extremely erratic and mentally unstable. He could feel it in his bones, in his mind. He wasn't right in the head. He didn't mind it, though. Not as much as he used to. He accepted it. He would never be fine, he knew that. And he didn't care. He didn't care about his family anymore, and he didn't care about himself. He didn't care if he lived or died.

Zim was fighting to keep him safe, to keep him alive. Because that's what friends were supposed to do, he'd said. They were supposed to help and protect those they cared about, to offer advice and reassurance. To always be there for the other, no matter the situation.

Dib opened the door to Zim's house to find the alien sitting on the couch next to Gir, watching television. "What are you dong here, Dib-smell?" Zim asked as turned his head to address the human. "Why are you not at your home with your family?"

Dib did not respond, slamming the door shut and causing Zim to flinch. "Please do not shut the door so forcefully, Dib. Now, I assume you came back for a reason. Is something bothering you?"

"Damn right something's bothering me!" Dib growled. "They didn't even care that I was gone! They noticed, but they weren't worried about me or anything. They didn't care."

Zim sighed. "I told you this would happen, did I not?"

"Yes, you did, but-"

"I'm not finished speaking, Dib." Zim interrupted. "I've told you time and time again how much they resent you. I've noticed the looks of disdain that they give you. They do not think you are worthy of their praise and admiration. They regret your very existence. Surely you know this by now."

Dib looked down at his feet. "Yeah, I know. I've known since before I met you. It's pretty obvious. I just didn't want to admit it to myself. I just pretended that they loved and cared about me. I even almost managed to convince myself of that, but it wasn't true. It never will be. I'll always be an outcast to them, an unfixable mistake. A disappointment, especially in my father's eyes. No matter what I do for them, it's never enough. He always expects more from me. He's never satisfied."

Zim hopped off the couch and went into the kitchen, grabbing something off of the table. He came back into the living room and handed it to the human."Here. I made this for you." Dib took the gift. It was a folded piece of paper. Dib unfolded it to see that Zim had drawn the Irken Invader symbol, with the words 'DON'T STOP LIVING' written below it.

Dib smiled, folding the drawing back up and putting it in his pocket. "Thanks, Zim. It looks amazing."

"You're welcome, human scum." The alien responded teasingly. "That took me a while to make, so you'd better put it someplace safe."

"I will."

Zim smiled softly. "Excellent. Perhaps there is still hope for you yet, Dib-stink. We may still be of use to one another."

Dib gazed at him questioningly. "Really? How do you know?"

"I just do. We have many things in common, you and I. We are both outcasts, failures to our own kind. We are both alone, only having each other to rely on. We are both hated and ridiculed by others who do not understand us. Many things, indeed."

Dib had to agree with Zim on that. The Irken had been through a lot more than he had in his whole lifetime. He had even heard that his leaders had tried to kill Zim before. That had to have messed him up.

The Irken cleared his throat. "Anyway, this was nice, but now you need to go back to your home."

"But I don't wanna go back, Zim. I hate it there. I always have."

"I do not care, Dib-worm. It will hopefully do you some good to be around them for at least a little while. It is only until Monday. Remember that, and I'm sure you'll be fine. Besides, you've been telling me recently that you wish to visit them, have you not?"

Dib sighed, knowing that the Invader had made up his mind, and there was no talking him out of this. "Fine, Zim. You win. I'll go stay with them for a while, but I won't be happy about it."

"Just so long as you do not do anything rash while you are there, you shouldn't have any problems. However, if you ever feel like you can't take it, or if you just need to 'vent' as you humans say, call me. OK?"

Dib sighed. "Ok. I'll try to be good. But it's just so difficult now. I just want to lash out at them."

"I know you do. I feel that way all the time. But you can control it, I know you can. You have to fight your impulses. Don't let them get to you, you are better than that."

Dib nodded and walked to the door. As he was about to leave, Zim stopped him, grabbing the human's arm. "And do not attempt to harm yourself in any way, Dib-human. Remember that I will not be there to stop you, but if I find out that you tried anything, there _will_ be consequences. Am I understood?"

"Yes, I understand. Can I go now?" Dib asked, his hand still holding the doorknob.

Zim waved him away. "Yes, yes, you may leave now. But don't forget what I said about hurting yourself."

"I won't." Dib left the base and walked back to his home, dreading the thought of being around his family for even a mere second. But he would do this, he _could_ do this. If not for himself, then for Zim.

 _ **A/N: I'm sorry it took me so long to get this chapter out. My family and I are preparing to move to another house, and that took up a lot of my time, and I also had some… personal problems to get through, which I'm still struggling with. And also laziness may have played a factor in it, as well, lol.**_ _ **Hope you enjoyed.**_


	20. Chapter 20

Dib didn't want to return to the place that had been the source of so much sorrow and pain. He would have preferred to remain with Zim now, if ever given the opportunity to. Sighing, he entered his home once more, ignoring the icy stares that he received from Gaz. He had other things on his mind at the moment. He went up to his room, taking the drawing Zim had given him earlier and hanging it up on his wall, above his desk.

Deciding that it belonged there, Dib nodded his satisfaction and went downstairs to get a soda. He opened the fridge, and to his annoyance, did not find what he was searching for. "Hey, Gaz? Do we have any more soda, or did you drink it all?"

"There's some more in the garage." Gaz muttered, returning to her game. Dib sighed and went into the garage, shivering at how much colder it was in this part of the house. There was another fridge in the corner, and Dib opened it and retrieved his drink.

As he closed the fridge and started to head back inside the house, however, a glint of metal caught his eye. He turned his head and saw a box cutting knife, sitting innocently on a workbench, blade partially extended.

He slowly walked over to it, picking it up and making the blade extend fully, and he stared at it for a minute. Zim's words echoed in his mind, " _Do not attempt to harm yourself in any way, Dib-human. Remember that I will not be there to stop you, but if I find out that you tried anything, there will be consequences_."

Dib thought it over for a few seconds, before reluctantly placing the box cutter back where he had found it, and going back inside the house. Opening his soda, he took a swig from the can, and decided that he had better call Zim and let him know what had just occurred.

He retrieved his phone from his pocket and dialed the Irken's number. After a few rings, he picked up. "Hello?"

"Zim, it's Dib. I need to tell you something." The Irken was silent for a few seconds, waiting. "Well? What did you want to tell me, Dib-stink?"

Dib took a deep breath, preparing himself for one of Zim's outbursts if necessary. "I wanted to let you know that… a few minutes ago, I saw a knife in the garage, and, well, I may have thought about hurting myself."

"You _what_?! What did I tell you a few hours ago?! Now I guess I need to-"

"Zim, it's okay. I didn't do anything. I put it back. I remembered what you said."

Dib heard the alien sigh. Zim tended to overreact to even the littlest things at times. It was kind of annoying.

"Oh. Never mind, then. It's good that you called me, Dib. Do you want me to come over?"

Dib shifted his weight from one foot to the other. "Um, actually, I-"

"Do not go near anything dangerous. Stay away. I'm coming over." Zim decided for him, before hanging up on the human. Dib shoved his phone back in to his pocket. "Goddammit, Zim. I wish you'd just hear me out every once in a while." He mumbled to himself.

A few minutes later, the doorbell rang. Dib heard the door open, and Zim talking to Gaz about how he would destroy her someday. Then the alien's boots stomping as he walked to Dib's room.

The door opened with a loud bang. "ZIM HAS ARRIVED!" The Irken shouted, throwing his arms up in the air. Dib rolled his eyes. Zim always had to dramatize everything he did. It tended to annoy him sometimes.

"Congratulations." Dib responded sarcastically, finishing the rest of his soda and setting the empty can on his bedside table. Zim walked over to the human's desk and examined it. "So, Dib. What is the problem this time?"

Dib shook his head. "Nothing, really. You just said that I should call you if I ever had thoughts of suicide."

Zim nodded. "Yes, so I did. I'm glad that you actually listened to me for once."

"Yeah, me too." Dib agreed. "Do you wanna stay for dinner? I don't really wanna be alone with Gaz and my dad right now."

Zim mulled it over. "I suppose I could stay for a while longer. I don't really have anything else planned for today, anyway, and I'm sure that GIR will be fine by himself for a few hours."

Dib smiled. "Thanks, Zim. That means a lot to me right now." The Irken did not respond. Dib figured it was because he didn't know what to say to that.

They went to the kitchen, where dinner was being prepared. Membrane was cooking something. "What are we having today, Dad?" Dib asked his father.

"Well, son, I'm in a good mood today, because I've just discovered the cure for cancer. So today, we're having steak with mashed potatoes." He shifted his gaze to look at Zim. "I see your little green friend is with you."

Dib felt Zim stiffen at that remark. He put a hand on the alien's shoulder to calm him. Zim relaxed slightly. "Is it okay if he stays for dinner?" Dib asked hopefully.

"I suppose so, son. Will you please get another chair from the garage for him, then?" The professor asked. Dib looked over at Zim nervously as he responded, "Sure, but I don't-"

"I'll get it." Zim cut in, briefly glancing at Dib before going to get the extra chair. Dib knew that the only reason the former Invader had volunteered was to keep him away from the box cutter, which he appreciated. He needed all the help he could get right now, and Zim's presence was extremely soothing to him.

Zim came back inside, carrying the chair, setting it down at the table. He sat down and waited for his food. Dib did the same.

When their food was ready, Dib's mouth watered at the sight of the steaks. He was starving. They didn't have steak that often, only on special occasions such as this one. Zim made a face of disgust when he saw the food. Dib began eating, while Zim poked and prodded his food with his fork.

Dib saw Zim pull out a device of some kind, disintegrating his meal when Membrane wasn't looking. Zim sat back in his chair, giving the appearance of being full. "Wow, that was really good, you filthy, pathetic, disgusting excuse for a human parental unit." Zim said, "But I am all filled up now, and I couldn't possibly eat any more."

Zim got up from his seat, placing his plate in the sink, and retreated down the hallway, exploring the house while he waited for Dib to finish eating.

Dib joined him a few minutes later. Zim pointed to a picture on the wall. "Is that you when you were a smeet, Stink-beast?" He asked.

Dib smiled. "Yeah, that's me. But even back then, my life sucked. Nothing will ever change."

"Hm. Well, I wouldn't say that. I'm sure it's better now. You have me, at least. That's something." Zim replied, turning to face the taller human.

Dib shrugged. "Yeah, I guess. I dunno what I'd do if I didn't have you."

Zim gave a small smile. "And I, you." He sighed. "I am bored, human. I demand that you provide me with some kind of entertainment."

"We could watch TV if you want." Dib offered. Zim thought that was a great idea. So they spent the rest of the evening watching cartoons and a few movies, with Zim sometimes complaining about how stupid the characters were whenever they'd get into trouble.

At around 10:00, Dib became too tired to stay awake for much longer. "Zim?" He muttered tiredly. The Irken looked over at him. "What is it, Dib?"

"I'm gonna go to my room and sleep, OK?"

"Alright. See you when your weak inferior sun rises."

Dib nodded. Bidding the alien goodnight, he retreated to his room, and slept.

 _They surrounded him, yelling. Insulting him, jeering at him. Kicking him, beating him. Torque laughed. "Awww, look. The little freak can't even fight back. C'mon, freak, fight me!" They kept up the assault. Torque began throwing punches. Dib tried to defend himself, but it was all just too much._

 _Then the kids surrounding him brought out knives. They closed in, and began stabbing him. Over and over and over, the blades pierced his flesh, some even hitting bone. He screamed. Blood pooled around him, growing larger. His eyes began to close…_

"Dib? What's wrong?! Talk to me! Please!" Dib awoke to Zim shaking him, his eyes wide with concern and fear. Dib realized he must have been making noise. The TV in the living room was still on, softly playing a movie of some kind, illuminating the room with a dim glow, the lights dancing across the ceiling.

"I just… I had a nightmare." Dib whimpered. "A bad one."

Zim stopped shaking him. "A night…mare?" He tried to remember what those were. "Ah, yes. You had a bad dream. I've heard of those. They are terrifying, if I remember correctly. GIR has them sometimes. Would you like me to stay with you until you return to sleep?"

Dib nodded. "Okay." His breathing came out in quiet gasps, and the occasional whimper. He quickly looked at the time. 12:30 AM. Zim took off his disguise and lay down next to him on the bed. "I think I know how to fix this." He said, wrapping an arm around the human. To provide him with warmth and security. "Everything is alright, Dib. Do not be afraid. Cease your trembling and be still. I'm here with you." He buried his face in the human's chest. "I won't ever let anything hurt you."

Dib felt comforted by the alien's body heat. His warm breath on his face. His PAK whirred gently, the sound of it reminding Dib where he was. Home. Safe. With Zim.

Zim gently ran his hand through Dib's hair. "Relax. Close your eyes and focus on your breathing. Clear your mind. Take deep breaths, and try to calm yourself. What are you so afraid of, anyway?" His tone was soft, quiet and comforting.

Dib snuggled deeper into the blankets, wrapping them around his body. "Um, it was Torque. And everyone else. My classmates. They hurt me, physically. And then they started stabbing me, and…"

Then he started to cry, and he hated himself for it. Zim reached up and wiped away the tears that threatened to fall.

"Do not cry, Dib-beast. There is no need for it. It's just us here. No one else is with us. You have nothing to fear. Torque is dead, and it's all in the past now. No one will ever hurt you again. I promise." He adjusted his position beside Dib, trying not to disturb him too much. His antenna gently brushed Dib's face.

Dib grabbed his hand, clinging to it. "Please don't leave me." He begged. Zim lay back down. "I wasn't going to. Go to sleep, Dib."

"I can't. I'm scared."

"Nothing is going to hurt you. It's all in your head." Zim responded. "Try to sleep. Lie still. I won't leave your side until you do. Rest." The alien began to softly hum a tune, and the humans fears slowly dissipated.

Dib focused on his breathing like Zim had instructed him to. An aura of safety and peace blanketed him, and his eyes felt heavy. He allowed them to close, and in no time, he was asleep. Zim remained with him for a few more minutes, then he got up, putting his disguise back on and leaving the house, going back to his base to make sure that GIR didn't destroy anything.

He decided to return to Dib in the morning, once the human had gotten his sleep. He deserved that much, and he highly doubted that Dib would be okay on his own, with all the pressure that his family was putting on him. The environment that he lived in was not a good one, but Zim would do whatever he could to make Dib's life better than it was.


	21. Chapter 21

When Dib awoke, it was light outside, and birds were chirping happily in the trees. He looked beside him, at the spot where Zim had lain with him only hours before. He felt a sense of reassurance thinking about it. Peaceful.

He slowly rose from his bed and retrieved his glasses, putting them on and walking out to the kitchen to make himself breakfast. Gaz was at the table when he entered, playing her Game Slave. Dib looked around, feeling as though something was missing. "Wait a minute. Where's Zim?"

"Gone, I guess. Haven't seen him since last night." His sister replied in a bored tone. Dib began to worry a little. What if the Irken had gone back to trying to take over Earth? What if this had all been a sham to distract him? What if he'd-?

Then the Invader himself walked through the front door.

"Where were you?" Dib asked. Zim looked up at him. "Hello, Dib-worm. I needed to return to my home to check on something. Why are you not resting? It is still quite early in the morning for you humans."

Dib glanced at the clock. It was only 8:20, which he had to admit _was_ still a little early, at least for him.

"Did my presence soothe you? Did you have any more 'night-mares' after you fell asleep, Dib-thing?" Zim asked. Dib nodded. "Yes, it did, and no, I didn't have any more nightmares. I can't thank you enough for what you did."

"There is no need to thank me," Zim replied dismissively, "but you are welcome all the same. I do what I can to help you, but I can feel your sadness still. I can read your facial expressions and your body language. You are relaxed for now, possibly due to last night? Your eyes are far away, deep in thought. You are… planning something. What troubles you?"

"Nothing, Zim. I'm fine. Don't worry too much."

Zim clenched his hands into fists and took a deep breath. "Do not lie to me, Dib. You know I hate that more than anything else. Tell me what you are thinking of doing so I may know how to proceed with you."

Dib smirked. "Even if I was planning something, which I'm not saying I am, but if I was, I wouldn't tell you."

"Why not?" Zim asked irritability. "I am the only one who has the equipment to help you. If you do not reveal your plan to me this INSTANT, I will have to find a way to force it out of you."

Dib laughed lightly. "There's nothing you can do to stop me, Zim. Only I can do that. I just want someone, anyone, to feel my pain. To understand how I feel, to know how much I'm hurting inside. I just can't take it anymore. This loneliness. It's all just too much for me. I want to die, but I can't because you forbid it. My will to live is gone. My hope is lost. I feel empty inside."

Zim shook his head. "We've been over this already, Dib. We will discuss it no longer. You must continue living. There is no other choice for you."

"There's always a choice, Zim. I _will_ kill myself. When you least expect it."

The Irken took a step forward. " _Dib_." He said threateningly. "I believe I told you never to speak those words in my presence again."

Dib averted his gaze. "Go ahead and hit me again if you want to. It won't change anything."

Zim narrowed his eyes at the human. "Then I suppose I must never let my guard down when you and I are together. I must watch you more closely. I will never let anyone harm you, Dib. Not even yourself. You mean too much to me. I don't understand why you continue trying to die."

"Really? What's that supposed to mean? ' _You mean too much to me_?'" Dib asked mockingly. "That's the kind of thing lovers say to one another, I think."

Zim gagged. "Oh, Irk, no! Love is _disgusting_! I assure you, Dib-worm, I harbor _none_ of that towards you."

"Oh, that's a relief. I wouldn't really care even if you _did_ love me, anyway. None of that matters anymore." Dib responded, casting his eyes downward towards the ground, sadness underlying his tone.

"When?" Zim asked. Dib looked at him, confused. "I don't understand the question. When _what_?"

"When are you planning on trying to hurt yourself again?"

Dib stared out the window. "I don't know. I haven't thought it all the way through yet. But it will be soon. Sooner than you think."

"I won't let you do that to yourself, Dib. You have more purpose in this world than you realize. Stay alive. Keep breathing. Take it one day at a time."

"I _can't_ , Zim!" Dib snapped at the alien. Zim only stared at the human. "What do you mean you can't? Of course you can."

Dib shoved down his frustration before it could surface. "You're not understanding me, Zim! I'm near the breaking point. I can't take much more of this."

"You _must_ endure it. You have only until tonight, and then we can go somewhere else if you wish." Zim responded. Dib sighed. "Fine. But I'm only doing it for you, no one else."

"Your efforts are appreciated." Zim replied. "I have to do something back at my base now, but I can also stay here with you if you want, and have Gir check on my experiment for me. What would you prefer?"

Dib thought about it for a second. If he let Zim go, then he would have a few minutes to kill himself with no interruptions. But if he were to let Zim stay with him, he would no chance to even try, and Zim would probably immediately realize his intentions and try to halt his plans. He looked at the time. He had less than an hour to get rid of Zim, if he chose to go through with it.

"I…" He wasn't sure what he wanted, but he needed to decide quickly. Zim was growing impatient. "Please give me an answer, Dib. I don't have all day. Should I stay, or go?"

 _I guess I could try again later._ Dib thought. "I want you to stay with me." He decided. Zim nodded. "Very well. I didn't feel comfortable leaving you here alone, anyway." He took out his communicator. "Gir! I need you to go check on our prisoner. Yes, the one in the cage! The beast with the horns! YES, that one! You can watch your TV show after." Zim hung up and put the communication device in his PAK. "Okay. What shall we do to pass the time?"

"Ummm, we could…" Watch television? No, they did that last night. They should probably do something else. "How about we go explore the town a little? Maybe we could go get something to eat? I haven't eaten breakfast yet, and I've got my wallet with me, so money won't be an issue."

Zim scoffed. "By 'we' you mean _you_ get food while I sit there and watch you eat whatever disgusting thing you choose to put into your inferior body? No, thank you!"

"We don't have to stay at the restaurant. I could get it to go and maybe I could buy you some snacks, and we could walk the town while we eat, if you'd rather do that instead."

Zim thought it over. "Well," he drawled, "I _am_ getting a little hungry. And snacks do sound good right about now." He shrugged. "Eh. Sure, let's go." He adjusted his wig and headed toward the front door. It was getting colder out, so Dib grabbed his jacket and followed the Irken outside, shutting the door behind him.

The sun was still rising, casting a bright, orange glow over everything. Birds chirped in the trees all around them, singing their song. Zim ignored the noise, having grown used to it a while ago. Now he hardly noticed it. "Where should we go?"

Dib shivered and wrapped his jacket tighter around himself. "There's a MacMeaties not too far from here. Do you want to go there?"

Zim nodded. "Yes, that sounds fine." He began walking in the direction of the restaurant, while Dib followed, lost in thought once again.

He had decided that this meal would be his last, and that night was when he would end it all. He didn't know why he still wanted to die now, after all that Zim had done to make his life better. It was better, _much_ better. There was no denying that. But Dib still felt that something was missing, an important piece of himself that was not there anymore.

He didn't know whether or not to tell Zim how he was feeling at the moment. He didn't want to ruin his fun. He really wanted to tell him about it, but he knew that now wasn't the right time. He needed to-

"Dib?" Zim's voice interrupted his thoughts, "Are you well? You seem to be… distant."

The human nodded. "Yeah, everything's just fine. What do you want to do after we eat?"

The Irken stopped just outside MacMeaties, his gloved hand on the door handle. "Don't change the subject, Dib! I know something is bothering you. What is it?"

The young human shook his head. "It's nothing. I'll tell you about it later. Just don't worry about it right now, okay?"

"Why won't you tell me now? I know you want to." Zim questioned. Dib opened the door to MacMeaties while he responded, "Now's not the time, especially in a public place such as this one. When we get back to the house, I'll tell you."

"Fine." Zim grumbled. They entered the restaurant, Dib feeling a bit nervous that Zim would discover his plans before he could properly prepare for them. He needed to get ready for it. He would go into the kitchen and try to find some poison, like drain cleaner or perhaps something similar, and wait until everyone was asleep, and then when he was alone, he would carry out his plan. He was sad that he had to do it, but this was his only option.

They walked up to the counter, and Dib ordered two Zesty Taco MacStuffins to go for himself. Dib got a soda for Zim, and sat at a table and waited for their number to be called, looking out the window, thinking.

"Dib!" Zim snapped. The human sighed. "What is it, Zim?"

"I have been observing you closely since we left the house, as I said I would be doing earlier, and I have come to the conclusion that you are distressed. Tell me what is wrong."

"Let it go, Zim. It doesn't matter."

The Irken shook his head. "I disagree. I won't let this go until I know what the problem is, and how I can help you." He leaned in close and whispered, "Are you going to harm yourself?"

"No!" Dib lied, "Why would you think that?" Zim hummed thoughtfully. "Maybe because of what you said earlier today about doing that. You should really find something to distract yourself, something to keep your mind occupied. You would probably be happier if you did."

"Ok, Zim. I'll try that." Dib responded. Zim narrowed his eyes. "I'm serious, Dib. Find something to keep yourself busy. At least until I figure out how to fix you."

Their number was called, and Dib got up to get his food. "Okay," he said when he returned to the table, "Now we can leave."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Come over here, Dib." Zim said once they had returned to the house. "I must speak with you." The Irken sat on the couch, his feet propped up on the coffee table, sucking on his candies that Dib had bought for him. The human went over and sat next to him. "About what?" He asked.

"I think you know." Zim responded. Dib sighed. "Oh, this again. Can't we just not talk about it?" Zim shook his head. "No. We must discuss it now. You won't feel any better until you get it out, until you tell someone, preferably me. So start talking. Tell me everything."

Dib stared at the floor, wringing his hands nervously. "Um, okay. Well, I… you know what? I really need to do something in my room, so I'm just gonna-"

"STAY!" Zim barked, grabbing Dib's arm as he tried to leave, pulling him back to the couch. Dib pouted, angry that his attempt to escape had been foiled.

"You are not allowed to leave until you talk to me, Dib-thing."

"Nothing's wrong, Zim! I'm fine!" Dib snapped at the small alien. Zim frowned. "I cannot help you if you don't tell me the cause of your distress."

"Well, maybe I don't want you to help me anymore, did you ever think of that?" The human hissed angrily.

"I know you're just saying that because you're mad, Dib. But I don't care. What are you planning?"

Dib looked away. "Nothing." He responded in an unconvincing tone.

"I don't understand. You said you would tell me the problem when we came back." Zim said.

"I changed my mind." Dib simply responded. "Can I leave now?"

Zim sighed. "I suppose. But I'm only allowing it because we aren't getting anywhere with this conversation. You must promise me that you will tell me if something serious is bothering you."

"I promise I will." Dib said. He left the living room and went into the laundry room, which was near his room, and got the bleach again, taking it to his room with him.

He had less than a few hours until he killed himself.


	22. Chapter 22

Zim sat on the couch, watching TV as he swung his little legs back and forth. He wondered what Dib was up to. It had only been less than an hour since they had returned from the restaurant, but the Irken wanted company. It was boring being alone for long periods of time with hardly anything to do.

He turned off the television and hopped off the couch, heading to the human's room. The door was slightly ajar, so Zim gently pushed it open all the way. Dib sat on the floor, his back against his bed. He was holding a bottle of bleach, unopened, and the box-cutter from earlier was on the floor next to him.

Zim stood there, not quite sure what to make of the situation. Dib looked up and locked eyes with the Invader. "Go away, Zim. Right now."

"What do you think you're doing, Stink-meat?" Zim growled. "Why do you have all of that?"

"I've had enough, Zim." The human whispered, his voice so quiet that Zim had to strain to hear it. "I can't take it."

Zim stepped into the room. "I told you to talk to me if you ever had these urges again. Why didn't you come to me?"

Dib did not answer the Irken's question. He put down the bleach and picked up the knife. "Tell me something, Zim. How much do you care about me?"

"I care for you a lot, Dib. You know that."

"Really?" Dib placed the blade against his throat. "How about now?" Zim took another step forward. "Dib, give that to me. Now, please."

"What, this?" Dib asked innocently, as he held up the knife. Zim nodded. "Give it to me. We can go out for ice cream, we can do anything else but this! Put your weapon down."

The former paranormal investigator shook his head. "That's not gonna happen. Sorry, Zim. But I'm tired. I am so tired." He reached for the bleach, wrapping a hand around the container's handle, unscrewing the lid with the other. Zim kept trying. "I know you, Dib. You would never do this. This is not like you!"

"If you don't leave, I'll do it right now. Do you really want that?"

Zim remained silent.

Dib shrugged. "I'm going to go ahead and assume that your silence means that you do." He sighed. "I wish this feeling would just go away. I really do."

"It will go away. It will!" Zim responded desperately.

"When, though? Even if it does, I know that it will come back." Dib looked at the floor sadly. "It always comes back."

Zim nodded. "Maybe, but you can overcome it. You just need to fight it. Focus on something else. I had my 'mission' to keep me occupied, and it helped. You have your… what did you call it? 'paranormal studies'?"

"I haven't done that kind of stuff for almost a year, Zim." Dib set the bleach next to him on the floor and played around with the knife again, digging the blade into his carpet. "People change. I've changed. Even you've changed. I'm not that little kid that you first met when you got here. I'm different now. Nothing you do will change my mind. I have to do this."

"No, you don't. You don't _have_ to do this, you are _choosing_ this. Things are not as bad as they might seem. You are choosing to give up. That is the reality of this situation. That is all there is to it."

Dib gripped the box cutter so hard that it left indents in his skin when he relaxed. "You just don't understand, Zim. You just don't."

"I _do_ understand. I know what you're going through. Do not forget that I have been in this exact same situation before. I know the feeling. It is not…pleasant."

Dib did not respond, resting his gaze on the books about ghosts and monsters that lined his bookshelf. Zim continued, "Do you know what keeps me going, what keeps me alive, Dib?"

"What?" Dib asked, his voice cracking slightly. "What keeps you alive, Zim? Is it Gir? I bet it is."

The Irken shook his head. "No, it's not Gir. Well, actually you're partially correct. He does keep me breathing, kind of. He serves to distract me from my problems," the alien chuckled lightly. "…by creating new ones."

"What's the answer, then?" Dib asked.

Zim put a finger to the human's chest. "It's _you_ , Dib. I'm still alive right now, because of you. Without you, I am nothing. Without you, I have no reason to live. For what it's worth, if I were one of you filthy humans, I believe I would consider you to be… family, I guess."

"Oh. I didn't know you cared that much. That kinda makes me feel a little better. But just a little."

"Good. Remember not to give up. Not ever. Only the weak-minded do that, and you are not weak, you are strong. I know you are. Push through the pain. Don't give in."

Dib's grip on the box cutter wavered, and loosened, and tightened again, as he tried to decide between listening to Zim, or proceeding with his original plan. Zim watched him curiously, noticing his hesitation. The container of bleach sat a few feet away, the lid still off, seemingly forgotten. Dib glanced at it, grabbing its handle and dragging it towards himself. He placed it in his lap and just stared at it.

"Dib," Zim warned. "Don't do it."

The human picked up the box cutter and tossed it to Zim. "Here. You can take that. I don't need it anymore." He lifted the container and brought it to his lips. He tipped his head back, but before it could enter his mouth, Zim leaned forward and smacked it from his grasp. Bleach flew in all directions as it got on Dib's clothes, on his blankets and the sheets of his bed.

Dib tried to catch it, but missed, as it landed in the middle of his room and tipped over, pouring out in a steady stream onto his carpet, effectively ruining it.

Dib stared at the mess, shocked. "Why did you _do_ that?! I was supposed to- oh man, I am in _so_ much trouble if my dad or Gaz see this!"

"You were going to kill yourself. I wasn't going to let that happen." Zim said. "I see now that you are serious about this. I wasn't sure if you were before, or if you just wanted my attention, but now I understand. You truly believe that there is nothing left for you. That you'll never be happy."

"It took you _this_ long to figure that out? You know, Zim, sometimes I wonder about you." Dib responded.

"I can't do this by myself, Dib. If you truly want to get through this, you're going to need my help. You can't do this alone, it's just not possible."

"Fine, Zim." The human muttered, annoyed about what just happened. The bleach continued to spill, soaking into the carpet. Dib watched the puddle as it slowly expanded. Zim saw his eyes suddenly light up with determination, as Dib lunged for the poison, grabbing ahold of it.

The Irken leapt onto his feet and quickly grabbed Dib around his waist, dragging him back, away from the bleach.

"No! NO! LET ME GO! Let me go!" Dib threw back his head and screamed. It was a scream full of sorrow and pain, of years of bottled up rage. Zim was forced to hold him down with his PAK legs, making sure to be extra careful so he wouldn't accidentally impale the human's arms and legs.

"Dib! Stop struggling! I don't want to hurt you, but if you do not keep still, my PAK legs will go straight into your limbs. Calm down!"

Dib stopped moving, exhausted and breathing heavily, as he continued to stare at the Irken hatefully. After a few minutes, Zim retracted the metal spider legs into his PAK and began cleaning up the mess, never taking his eyes off of Dib for more than a few seconds at a time.

Dib remained sitting against his bed, glaring at him with disdain. Zim pointed to his bed. "You may want to change your sheets. They're probably ruined now."

The human kept quiet. Zim sighed. "I hope you understand why I had to stop you. I'm not sorry for it. I made a promise to you, and I rarely ever break a promise. If you ever feel this way again, _let me know_. DO NOT keep it to yourself. Do not keep it secret from me. Tell me immediately. I don't want a repeat of…" the Irken gestured with his hands, trying to find the right words. "all of _this_ again. Am I understood, Dib?"

Dib nodded. "Yes, I understand." He mumbled, still a little angry that he was still alive. Zim always ruined his plans. He hated it!

"Good. Now, how about we go get that ice cream? I'm buying."

"Okay. Let me just change into some clean clothes first." Dib said.

Zim started to head for the front door. "Alright. I will be waiting for you. And don't forget your coat." He said over his shoulder. "It's a little cold outside tonight."

 **A/N: well, that took forever to write. It's 4am and I've been awake since 10pm working on this chapter. Lol. I should be sleeping right now. Hope you liked it!**

 **i also understand that this chapter is a little short, and I'm sorry for that, as I don't like writing short chapters, but I thought that Dib's suicide attempt should just be it's own little chapter. I hope that's okay.**


	23. Chapter 23

Zim shivered. It was colder than he had anticipated. He looked over at Dib, who was all snug in his coat, seemingly not bothered the slightest bit by the chill in the air. It made the Irken a little jealous. He pressed himself against Dib's body, startling the human.

"Zim, what the heck are you doing?" Dib asked, feeling a little uncomfortable by this sudden close contact between them. "I am cold." The Irken responded, wrapping his little arms around himself as his body continued trembling. "I wish for you to share your warmth with me." Dib looked at him for a second, thinking it over. Sitting himself on a nearby bench, he sighed and nodded, unzipping his coat. "Come here."

Zim smiled and sat down next to the human, scooting close to him until he could feel the heat radiating off of Dib's body. Dib wrapped his coat around the Irken, and Zim sighed contentedly as warmth immediately washed over him, and he slowly stopped shivering. "Do you want to just get some hot chocolate instead?" Dib asked.

Zim nodded, his teeth softly chattering. "Y-yes, please. Let's do that." He glanced at Dib, his expression showing slight concern. "Aren't you c-cold without your c-coat, Dib-thing?" The human shook his head, wrapping his coat tighter around Zim, trying to help him stay warm. "No, I've got a sweatshirt on as well, so I'm good."

"Okay." Zim laid his head on Dib's shoulder, and put his arms around him. "You need to stay warm, too." Dib smiled, appreciating the gesture. "Thanks, Zim." The former Invader nuzzled him, much to Dib's surprise. "Don't mention it, you filthy human." He whispered. "We should get going now, before the coffee shop closes."

Zim stood up and messed with his wig, while Dib sat there, trying to process what just happened. "Did you just… nuzzle me?" He asked. The Irken stared at him in pretend shock, then emitted that high-pitched giggle of his. "Don't be ridiculous, Dib-stink. I don't know what you're talking about. I would never do such a thing, especially to the likes of you. Now come on, we really should hurry."

Dib grabbed his arm. "Hold on a second, Zim. I need to ask you something. It's important." The Irken sighed and sat back on the bench. "Fine, but make it quick. It's not getting any warmer out here."

Dib cleared his throat as he shuffled his feet nervously. "Um, do you… do you know how many people you've killed since you came here?" Zim glared at him. "What kind of question is that, Dib?" He asked in a slightly offended tone.

The human attempted to rephrase his question. "Well, what I mean to say is-"

"I know exactly what you're asking, Dib-smell." Zim interrupted. "There is no need to explain yourself. I do, in fact, know the number of casualties caused both directly and indirectly by my own actions, I just do not feel comfortable telling you."

Dib sighed. "Okay, fine. I understand." He stood up. "Let's go get that hot chocolate now." Zim sighed in relief. "Finally." They began walking, with Zim still bundled up in Dib's coat, though it didn't fit him that well, considering that it was meant for someone much bigger than him, and it kept slipping off of him, so he had to keep a firm grip on it. But he didn't care as long as it kept him feeling warm and safe.

"Zim?" Dib spoke up once more when they were nearing the coffee shop. The Irken glanced over at the human. "What, Dib?"

"I've noticed that I've been staying over at my house longer than you said. You said it was only for the weekend, but it's almost Monday now. Shouldn't we be staying at your base tonight?"

Zim thought carefully before he spoke. "I… have been thinking about that recently, and I have decided that my base is not a good environment for you to stay in. There are too many opportunities to hurt yourself there, too many weapons. You may stay with your father and sister from now on if you wish. You will be much safer with them."

Dib thought about that while they entered the coffee shop and ordered their hot chocolate. They sat down at a table and talked. Eventually, their conversation turned to school. "I've been wanting to ask you something about that, actually." Dib said. "I was wondering… if I could go back to Hi Skool anytime soon? I'm sure that I've been missing out on a lot of stuff that I may need to learn for when I'm older."

Zim took a sip of his hot chocolate and shook his head. "No. Absolutely not, Dib. You are not safe there. I feel that I must remind you about what you have endured there in the past, and the events that followed. You were scarred physically, mentally, and emotionally. It affected your mental state. I will not have you going through that again."

"I'm betting that you could find some way around that." Dib responded. "Don't you have some kind of invention or something that could fix that?"

"I'm sure that I do. I have many things that I have designed and built, and then set aside for possible future use. Perhaps one of them would be useful for this particular concern of yours."

Dib nodded. "Maybe. But if there's even a chance that I could go back to school, then I'm willing to take it." Zim gave him a questioning look. "Of course you are, Dib. You are stubborn, and that is actually one of the things that I admire about you. But first, before I think about it any further, I must ask you something. Why do you even want to go back? You will find nothing except pain and misery there."

Dib shrugged. "I'm not sure, actually. I guess I just want something to do. You told me that I needed to occupy my mind with something that distracts me from my darker thoughts, and I think that this will help with that."

"Yes, but I didn't mean like this! I meant go on walks, watch television, or play a video game or two! I do not understand why you humans insist upon returning to the source of your troubles, thinking things will change, when nothing will." Zim took another swallow of his drink and sighed. "I just don't think that it's a good idea, Dib. That's all I'm saying. I worry for you."

"I know you do, Zim. And I know that sometimes I can be a handful, but I really think that I'm ready to go back to Skool now. Could you just consider it? Please?"

"Well, I suppose it would be good for you to get out of the house more. Okay, Dib. I will think it over, and I will let you know when I have made my decision on this matter." He finished his hot chocolate and threw the cup in a nearby trash can. "But for now though, you need to focus on anything but that."

"I'm trying, Zim. But it's hard. It's so difficult for me to not think of just picking up a knife or a gun or something and just ending it all. It would be easy, I think. All of my problems would be over. Forever."

The Irken looked around cautiously. "Let's take this conversation elsewhere, shall we?" Zim grabbed Dib's arm and practically dragged the human outside. "There were too many humans in there who could very easily overhear us."

Dib rubbed his arm, as Zim had gripped it a little forcefully. "You're right. I guess I should have thought of that. Sorry. Anyway, I've also heard that self-harming helps to relieve stress. You know, like cutting or burning myself? I bet it would help make me happier. Maybe I could try that instead. What are your thoughts on that?"

"I believe that purposely hurting yourself is ill-advised, no matter the reason, and I do not recommend it." Zim replied. "There are better ways to cope."

"Have you ever tried it, Zim? Self-harm? I'm curious as to how it feels, and if nothing else works, then I may consider doing it in the near future."

The former Invader stared at some leaves that a gust of wind blew past them. "I have heard much the same things you have about self-harm, Dib. That it helps with stress and loneliness. And I have never done it, but I have known other Irkens who have attempted it, and a few of them have told me that it had not helped at all, or that it had only worsened their problems. Not one of them said that it made their lives better. Nothing good will come of it."

"Are you sure, Zim? Because sometimes I think that it's the best option for me right now. I can't think of anything else that might help me to clear my head and ease my problems, be them temporary or permanent. I just want to be at peace for awhile, not having to worry about anything. That's something I'm sure you can't give me."

Zim took off the coat he had borrowed from Dib and handed it back to him. "The hot chocolate made me warm enough for now." The human took the coat and put it on again, zipping it up halfway. "And I am absolutely positive that I can provide you with what you need." The alien continued, "You only need to have faith in my abilities. I can do anything."

"Anything, huh?"

"Yes, anything. I can give you this 'peace' that you desire so desperately. I can even give you more than that, if you will let me."

"More? I don't understand, Zim." Dib said, slightly confused. "What are you trying to say?"

Zim huffed, slightly annoyed. "In these past few months we have spent together, we have grown close, have we not? We have come to understand each other better than ever before. We have shared secrets with one another, confided things to the other that we had previously kept to ourselves."

As Dib listened to what Zim was saying, it dawned on him. _I think he's admitting that he… likes me? That's crazy! He hated me not that long ago! This is kind of sudden. He must be lying. He's good at that sometimes. But still, we HAVE grown to be pretty close…_

"Zim, we're just friends for now. I will admit that I do think you're… cute, but I'm not ready for that yet. Maybe someday, we can be something more than friends, but not now. Okay?"

The Irken nodded. "Okay, Dib. I suppose we need to focus on helping you before we do anything else. That is what is most important. Helping you is all that matters right now."

Dib was listening, but he still couldn't stop thinking about harming himself. He imagined pulling out a lighter and flicking it on to watch the flame dance, to see the colors change from orange and yellow, to blue and red. Fire was very beautiful and fascinating. He imagined how that heat would feel against his bare skin, burning and scarring his flesh. Taking away his fears and worries, replaced only with physical pain.

He wished he had a lighter with him right then, at that moment. Then he could know what it was like, and quite possibly find true peace.


	24. A New Beginning

Dib and Zim were sitting on the couch, watching TV in the Irken's house one last time before the human had to go back to his own house.

Zim had been subtlety scooting closer to Dib every few minutes, and now his head was resting against his friends shoulder. Dib did not mind very much. Zim radiated a very strong aura of comfort, reassurance, and safety now.

"Zim, can I ask you a question?" Dib asked cautiously. Zim took his eyes off of the screen in front of them and glanced over at him. "You just did, Dib-stink." He muttered softly, cracking a smile and giggling quietly at Dib's slightly annoyed expression."Calm down, I'm just messing with you. Yes, what is your question?"

Dib hesitated for a few seconds, unsure if this was the right time. Then he decided to ask anyway. "Remember when you said that you would tell me what you did with Torque's body when I was ready?" Zim thought a moment. "Yes, I remember. Do you think you are ready to know?"

The human sighed. "I don't know. I think so. Do you think I'm ready?"

"Well, you have been doing much better mentally, and you are beginning to tolerate my presence now, which I believe is also an improvement. So, yes, you are doing much better, and I couldn't be any more proud of you."

The paranormal investigator smiled, staring down at his lap as he started to blush nervously. "Thanks, Zim. I'm trying. I feel a lot better, and I'm actually kind of…well, I'm kind of…happy, being here with you. And I just want to let you know that I really appreciate everything you're doing for me, and I like doing this, spending time with you. It feels so much better than constantly fighting with you all the time, like we used to."

Zim gestured dismissively. "That's all in the past now, Dib. I wouldn't worry too much about it, and I advise you to just try to forget about all of that. This is a new beginning for both of us, a 'do-over' as you humans call it, and we need to make the most of the time that we have together. This has been rather nice, though."

His human nodded. "Yes, it has, and it is. So, about Torque, can I see what you did with his body now?" The Irken held up his hands in a 'stop' gesture. "Woah! Let's not get ahead of ourselves, Dib. You are not quite ready for that yet, but I will tell you what I've been doing with his empty human shell.

I have been slowly and carefully picking apart his brain, to discover why he felt the impulse to cause you misery and mental and emotional suffering. It is… a very slow process, and all I ask from you is that you remain patient with me while I gather whatever information I can on this subject."

"What have you found out so far?" Dib asked curiously. Zim shook his head, sighing. "As of this moment, I have found nothing conclusive. All of the data that I have reviewed has been useless. I am afraid that all my work has been for nothing."

Dib offered an encouraging smile. "Don't give up yet, Zim. I'm sure you'll get what you need soon. Sometimes it just takes time. I'm rooting for you. And I'll do my best to be patient with you while you work."

Zim smiled and leaned forward to wrap his arms around Dib in a gentle embrace. "Thank you for being so understanding, Dib-human. I wish there were more humans like you on this filthy planet."

The human slowly returned the embrace. "Thanks, Zim." He pulled away. "Wait, didn't Torque say that he was mean to everyone because his dog died? Maybe he just couldn't handle the grief. He must have really loved that dog."

Zim nodded. "Yes, he did indeed say that, but I don't believe it. It must have been something else, there must have been something more to cause such antagonistic behavior."

Dib shrugged. "Well, I'll do what I can to help you with your research however I can, but I doubt that I'll be able to do much. I only know as much about this as you do right now."

"Then perhaps there is a slight truth to his words. Maybe it is just as he said. But that is still no excuse to behave in such a manner. I examined his IQ level as well, and he was not very intelligent. It had been clearly obvious before, just by looking at him, but this only confirms it."

The paranormal investigator was about to reply when the clock above the TV chimed. Zim glanced at it. "Oh, is it five o'clock already? That was fast. Okay, Dib, it's time for you to go home now."

The human pouted. "But I don't wanna go back there! I would rather stay with you."

"I know, Dib. I would rather you stay with me, as well, but like I said before, if you have any problems, call me, and I will come over and spend some time with you, no matter what time of day or night it is. I will stop whatever I am doing at that moment in time to put your safety before anything else, to focus only on you. We can play video games, watch television, whatever you want to do. Okay?"

"Okay, Zim. Thanks."

The alien offered a gentle smile. "You are most welcome, human. I care for you very much, and I would do anything to ensure your safety. Please remember that."

"I will. I promise."

"Good. Now, get your shoes and coat on. It is time for you to return home." Dib did as Zim instructed, albeit rather reluctantly. When he was ready, he stood at the front door, his hand on the doorknob. He remained there for almost thirty seconds, not wanting to leave Zim's company.

Noticing this behavior and sensing his friends uncertainty, Zim went over to him. "Do you want me to stay with you until we get to your house?" Dib silently nodded and opened the front door, as he headed outside to face the elements, Zim by his side. They talked about their favorite video games while they walked, and Zim even told Dib a little more of his backstory when he was training to become an Invader on Irk.

When they arrived at Dib's house, Zim bid him a goodnight, and headed back to his base to continue his research. Dib went inside of his house, going to his room to play some video games while he thought about his conversation with Zim about Torque. It was true what he had said about him. Torque was definitely not very smart, one of the least intelligent people in the school, in fact.

The only reason that Dib had put up with him at all was because he had had no choice. If he had told someone about his problem, no one would have believed him, or they wouldn't care. But if Dib had retaliated against Torque, then he would have only made things worse for himself. There would have been no winning either way.

Dib allowed his mind to wander freely while he continued playing video games for the next few hours. He had eaten dinner at Zim's house, so he wasn't very hungry at the moment. At around 10:30, he began to feel sleepy, so he saved his game and turned off the console, and lay awake in his bed for the next hour, feeling tired but unable to fall asleep like he wanted to.

His mind wandered back to the time when Zim had lain with him when he was scared, and he remembered that the alien's warmth had been soothing and had helped him to fall asleep rather quickly. He wished that Zim was here with him now, because he really needed to sleep. He was just about to close his eyes again when he suddenly remembered that he had made a plush of Zim almost a year ago, and had set it atop one of the shelves in his closet.

Getting out of bed, he opened his closet to find it where he had left it. Reaching up to grab it, he felt its softness, and recalled that he had it filled with the same stuffing that normal plushes had. He had even stitched it and everything. Its original purpose was for it to be used as a sort of voodoo doll to torture the Irken with, but that plan had failed almost immediately when the human discovered that witchcraft did not actually exist. So he had put it away for safekeeping, until now.

He returned to his bed with the plush of Zim in his embrace, and lay down in the darkness. The feelings of pure comfort, safety, and peace that filled him were overwhelming, and he slowly drifted off to sleep, with the plush cradled tightly against his chest. The last thing he heard before he let sleep embrace him was Zim's voice echoing in his mind:

 _This is a new beginning, for both of us._

 **A/N: I know that it's been almost three months since I last uploaded a new chapter of this story, and I apologize for that. This story was on a hiatus while I got better, and I am now. So I will try to upload more frequently.**


	25. Just A Small Update

I need to vent. I lost a friend recently, but not in the way you're thinking. She's alive and hopefully well, but she's probably pretty mad at me at the moment, and I'm gonna tell you why. I posted a vent fic a few weeks ago, and I wanted her to read it. Now, I feel like I was kind of pressuring her to read it, because at the time I was going through some things that I'd rather not get into, and I just wanted her to know how I felt during that time.

Eventually, I assume she read the story, and I guess she got mad about it. I've since deleted that particular fic, so there's no use in trying to find it, because you won't. Anyway, I just recently discovered this when she completely cut me off from any kind of communication between us, and I had no idea that it would affect her this deeply.

When I was writing the vent story, there was a voice telling me not to publish it, that it would not end well for me, but I ignored that voice in me, and published it anyway. Now I wish that I hadn't. I wish that I had listened to it. But it's too late now. I have nothing now, and I have no motivation to continue writing anymore because of this. She is an amazing writer, and I will never even come close to her level of skill, but I still admire her work, and she has written some of the best stories that I've ever read, and nothing will ever change that.

I'm gonna be completely honest now: I'm not doing very well. I don't wanna eat or sleep, and for the first day or two after I found out about her being mad, I didn't eat dinner, and I didn't eat breakfast or lunch the day after. I was too nervous to eat anything, because I feel like I don't deserve food. But I'm sure that she's doing just fine. I know that I won't be able to sleep tonight, either. The stress will keep me awake until morning.

She probably doesn't really care all that much about how I feel right now, she's probably too angry to care. I must deserve to be hurt, and she must think the same of me. I have known her long enough to know how she thinks a little bit. She thinks that the vent fic is how I really feel about her. She thinks that I've never admired or looked up to her, but that's just not true. Her messages to me would be the highlight of my day/week/month, and I would always get SUPER excited whenever I saw a message from her in my inbox, and I would have a smile on my face for days afterwards, because I just loved talking to her so much.

I doubt that she'll ever read this, but if she does, I hope that she forgives me for causing her so much pain. I won't tell you her name, but she knows who she is. But again, I'm assuming that she's hurting too much to read any stories right now. I'm hurting, too. Very much. At first, I was extremely confused about it, because she never told me why she was angry with me. And then, when I finally figured out what the problem was, I was devastated, I even almost started crying at work the day after that. And then I blamed myself for everything, and I still do. Now, I am numb to it all. I don't feel anything, but the pain is still here, it's just very faint. I don't know what to feel. Mixed emotions, mainly. Sadness, as well as anger directed towards myself.

I want to scream, to throw things and break things, but that will accomplish nothing except for me having to replace everything that I break, and I don't have the energy. No one knows how I'm feeling except myself. No one else really cares except me.

I've bought a plush recently as well, during the holidays. He's in my arms right now, but he is doing little to drive away these feelings. I've actually hurt him since this started. I was very mad at myself a few days ago, so I picked him up and threw him against the wall as hard as I could, but then I felt bad about that, so I picked him back up and apologized. I still feel bad about it, though he is only a plush, I believe that he is capable of feeling emotions.

I don't know if I even want to continue writing, ever. I am drowning in sadness and emotional pain, and maybe she is feeling the same way I am, I really don't know. Maybe she isn't. She was my biggest motivation for my writing, because even before we had become friends, I would write a chapter of a certain story, and I would try to make it into something that she would love and adore, because I want to be as talented a writer as she is some day. You all seem to love my stories just the way they are, but I always strive to be better than I am at writing. I assume she isn't reading my stories anymore, because she hasn't been reviewing them recently. But I will always read hers, because she is my writing idol, so…

I don't know if she is even willing to talk this through with me anymore. Probably not. She might not even want anything to do with me at this point. I shouldn't have posted that story. I didn't know she would react this way. I should have known better. My dad is right, I always ruin everything. And now I've ruined this, too. When she suggested that we just simply stop talking to each other, I should have just agreed to that. At least then she'd still be giving me feedback on my writing.

In one of her stories, it says that 'all things can be fixed", but that's not true. Everything can be fixed, except for this. She is not willing to listen/read what I have to say to explain myself, and she probably never will. I don't know why I even attempt to make friends. This situation has taught me one thing: all friends eventually betray you. They leave you to drown in self-hatred, never lifting a finger to help you. They ignore you when you really need them, preferring to abandon you instead of assist in easing the hurt you feel. They feed on your misery, thrive on it. They kick you when you're down.

I probably won't update any of my stories until this situation is resolved. And if it NEVER gets resolved, if it stays this way forever, then I'll never write again.


	26. Chapter 26

Dib was sitting on his living room couch watching TV wen he heard a knock at the front door. Getting up to answer it, he was surprised to see that it was Zim standing there on the front porch. "Zim? What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be back at your base experimenting with whatever you have planned today?"

"I just wanted to make sure that you were okay, and see if maybe you wanted to…" The Irken answered, stopping as his eyes landed on the plush that Dib was cradling in his arms. "What the heck is that thing?" The Irken interrupted himself, pointing at it.

"This?" Dib asked holding up the comfort object. "It's something that I made a while back, when I was still obsessed with exposing you. I'd forgotten about it until last night. I've been using it to help me sleep and to keep away my dark thoughts, and it's really helping."

Zim remained silent, still staring at the stuffed version of him that the human held, studying its features. Dib continued, "I actually wanted to take it with me outside today, but apparently other people think that it would be strange to do that, given my age. Most people have accepted that only young kids can do that. It's considered 'abnormal' to do that when they get older."

The Irken sighed. "My research on these 'plushes' is incomplete, and therefore my knowledge of this subject is thus far very limited. I do know that the humans seem to think that whatever they perceive to be 'different' is shunned and ridiculed by the Collective, as you were."

"The Collective?" Dib asked, confused. "What's that?"

"It is what I call the humans who all accept what they're fed or told without questioning it," Zim explained to him patiently. "The ones who believe everything that they hear or see. The ones who behave like a hive mind. I think your species refers to them as 'sheep,' though I might be mistaken."

The human nodded. "No, I think you've got it right, actually. Most humans are stupid and selfish most of the time. They only believe what they want to believe, and anyone who disagrees with them is labeled as something they're not. I don't really understand it, but that's just how the world is, I guess."

"I really don't understand humans very well," Zim said, looking annoyed. "Everything is backwards with them. They say that they will do something, then they go back on their words and promises for their own needs. They only think about themselves, never others. They are destroying themselves with every passing day. I think that conquering this planet would cleanse it of all of that. It would be a better Earth, my Earth."

Dib smiled softly. "I'm beginning to think that maybe you could do it one day. Conquer the planet, I mean. It might even be better than all of this. What would you plan on doing with it once you take over?"

"Oh, I have many ideas," The Irken said with a giggle. "First, I would kill everyone inhabiting this planets prisons, because they would only cause more chaos upon release. Then, I'd capture all the corrupt politicians and figureheads, executing them in a public ceremony so that the rest of the human race could bear witness, beheading them and watching the life go out of their eyes as the streets run red with their blood. Then, I would probably-"

"Woah, hold on a second," Dib interrupted, holding up a hand to silence him, "That's a little too dark, don't you think?"

"On the contrary, I think it's not dark ENOUGH." Zim responded with a grin. "My rule will be long, and considering the lifespan of my species, it could even last a few hundred Earth years if I'm lucky. You could even be my right-hand, if you so desire."

"What would you do with the animals?" Dib asked, fearing the worst for them. "The zoos and safaris? Would you get rid of them all and kill those animals?"

The little Irken shook his head, antennae twitching. "The ones that you humans keep as pets, the dogs and cats, I would keep those alive, for the most part. The more dangerous creatures, the lions and sharks and whatnot, they will be eradicated. They make me feel threatened by them, so it would be best to be rid of them as soon as I am able."

He returned his attention to the plush that Dib had made a few years prior. "That does almost resemble my likeness entirely." He admitted, his expression unreadable. "I do admire the craftsmanship, however. It is quite impressive, for an inferior species."

"Um…thanks?" Dib said, not knowing if he should be flattered or offended. He decided to just accept the statement as a compliment. It was better than nothing, he figured. Zim had learned a lot more about blending in since they were in Skool.

The alien waved it off dismissively. "Yes, yes, you are welcome. I also wanted to ask you how you were doing. Have you been feeling better thus far?"

"Yes, for the most part, at least." Dib answered with a shrug.

Zim smiled. "I'm glad to hear that, Dib. And your family, how has that been for you?"

Dib shrugged. "The same as usual, I guess. It's been okay here, though I'd prefer being with you over them now."

"You may come over anytime you wish, Dib-stink. It does get a bit… irritating at times only having Gir for company. You know how he is. Extremely hyper all the time."

Dib nodded. "Yeah, I've noticed. He got on my nerves too, sometimes, but is intentions are good, most of the time." He held the door open. "Do you wanna come in?"

"Oh yes, I'd love to. It's boiling out here." The Irken said as he stepped into the house, sighing in relief as a wave of cold air hit him immediately. "That feels really nice."

"We've got the AC on full blast," Dib responded as he closed the front door. "So you don't need to worry about the heat or anything for now."

"That's good." Zim said as he sat on the couch. "I've been wanting to get out of the base lately, anyway. It's so tiring always having to keep Gir under control, and he's been like a human smeet on a never-ending sugar rush as of late. More energetic than usual."

Dib nodded. "Well, if you ever need any help with him, you know, like calming him down or something, I'd be more than happy to do that."

Zim smiled, putting a hand on his arm. "I would very much appreciate that, Dib. You know, sometimes I wish that he was more… intelligent. He has his moments, but he's usually just confused and happy most of the time. I'm getting real tired of looking after him. Maybe it would be better if I just put him offline for a while and try to fix whatever is wrong with him."

"Didn't you say a few years back that you got him that way?" Dib asked hesitantly.

"I did," Zim confirmed with a nod. "But he is not as advanced as I imagined he would be. Perhaps he needs an upgrade. He is a little outdated, to my knowledge, and all of the other SIR Units are much more capable of carrying out specific tasks than mine is. Gir gets distracted much too easily for my liking."

"He's a troublemaker for sure." Dib agreed, playing with the TV remote by the couch. "I'm amazed that he haven't destroyed himself yet."

"I am, as well." Zim admitted. "He has expressed to me numerous times in the past, through his ramblings about dancing chickens and the like, that he would want nothing more than to be destroyed, and he even manages to find enjoyment in that idea if you can believe it. He finds it highly amusing."

"That's news to me, but I guess I wouldn't put it past him to think like that. He is an insane robot, after all."

"I suppose you are right, Dib-stink." The alien said thoughtfully, looking at the floor However, it hurts me to think of letting him go like that. We've been through so much together, him and I. If I were to just abandon him without warning, he might not survive on his own, as unprepared as he is. Who knows what kind of trouble he would get himself into."

"As unstable as he is, I think he needs you to be happy. You're the only one who he can really trust, not anyone else. His innocence makes him vulnerable to being taken advantage of. He could be abused and tricked without you there to protect him from harm."

"He just makes me so angry sometimes." Zim said, and Dib could tell a rant was coming. "This morning he made toast and didn't even eat it! He just threw it all onto the floor so that he could make a mess of things, and he got butter in the living room carpet, and that is not very easy for me to clean! Oh, he makes me so angry! Maybe it would be better if I shut him down for a few weeks."

"You can do whatever you want with him, he's your robot." Dib responded carefully. "How long will it take to fix him?"

Zim sighed. "I have no idea. Hopefully not very long, maybe a few months at most if I work really hard on improving his mind. His inner casing and outer shell need some upgrades as well, so that will take a few days to get done. All together, it will take a significant amount of time before he is finished and fully improved."

"Oh," Dib said, getting up from the couch to go into the kitchen and open the pantry. "Are you hungry? I can make you something if you want to eat here. Dad just went to the store yesterday, so we have a lot more food than last time you came over."

"No, thank you." Zim declined politely. "I ate some sweets not too long ago. I appreciate the gesture, though."

Dib was surprised at the Irken's manners. Usually he would be rude or make some kind of sarcastic reply, but it seemed that he really was trying to appear more 'normal,' down to his speech patterns and mannerisms, and the human found himself to be impressed at the alien's progress these last few months.

"Alright, then," he answered, shutting the pantry door and sitting back down on the couch. "Well, what do you want to do, then?"

Zim thought a minute before replying. "There is a movie that I have been wanting to see as of late. Do you want to do that instead?"

Dib smiled. "Hell yeah!" He said gleefully. "I would love to! What movie is it?"

"I believe it is one about 'the horrors of war' or something of the sort. I really don't know too much about it, but it sounds interesting enough to warrant a look."

Dib quickly rushed to the front door and opened it. "Yeah, that sounds really good! I wanna get out of the house today, anyway."

Zim strutted outside and adjusted his wig. "Let us go, then." He said as he started walking toward the nearest movie theater, Dib following close behind him.

 **A/N: I know that it's been almost eight months since I last updated this story, but I've been working on other stories and I kind of just forgot about this one. Apologies for that. I'll update more often now.**


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